Untitled: A Work in Progress
by ElisabethMariaWilliams
Summary: Kim has always felt like an outsider, the other. As she grows she attempts to find herself and not get caught up with boys, wolves or the supernatural
1. 2001 - It's My Toy

2001

"Just let me touch it. Stop being such a baby"

Jared Cameron and Paul Lahote had teased me with these words the whole year. It didn't seem to matter to them that they were in the third grade and that I was only in the first. Both Paul and Jared used to be kinder, they would even play with me when my brother wasn't around. It was only once we were in the same school, at the same time, that they had started being cruel.

"I'm not a baby. It's my toy!" I yelled back.

The two boys dropped my prized miniature sports car and stormed off towards the playground, my most treasured possession lay in pieces. My hand dropped to the floor as I managed to collect what was left of my, now ruined, miniature vintage porsche. I was forced to remind myself that I couldn't cry about my car, only babies cried. I wasn't a baby.

"Are you going to cry...Kimmy? Are you going to be a baby?"

I couldn't tell if it was Paul or Jared that had spoken but I had decided not to look. Friends were supposed to be nice, Paul and Jared were not nice. My mother had tried to convince me that boys would be mean when they liked you, but I didn't want them to be mean to me. I didn't even want them to be my friends, they shouldn't have crushes on me. Crushes made people mean.

All I wanted was Seth, he was such a good big brother. He always made Paul and Jared be nice to me - even if they didn't mean it. He was bigger than them too, even though he was the youngest one in the third grade. I didn't care if I ended up being a tattle tale, I just wanted Seth to come back to the Reservation and protect me again.

"Kimberly, honey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying. I'm not a baby"

-Author's Note-

I know that it's short but it's only the beginning. I promise


	2. 2002 - Kammy

2002

"I don't want to go today, can't I just stay home?" I pleaded with my mother.

I watched her black hair toy with the light as she shook her head. Her dark, reddish-brown arm came around me pulling me into her chest. She was trying to comfort me, I could tell, but she wasn't very good at it. Susan Clearwater was an excellent nurse and an even better friend, but she was not the best mother. She tried, oh how she tried, but she was not made to be any kind of authoritative figure. When her children needed advice, she would recite appropriate song lyrics; when the needed discipline she would ask a colleague to do it; and if she ever got called into the school office she would never show up. Everyone had come to understand that she had never needed her children to see her as a mother, she just wanted to be their friend.

"The boys are just having fun, Kimmy, they don't mean to hurt your feelings. It's just a crush"

"But it's not mom. It's getting worse, please can I stay home today? I'll be good, I promise. I even did today's homework yesterday, please?"

"No honey, you're going to go and show those boys that they will not intimidate you, they'll like you more for it. Boys like a strong woman"

My mother's arm fell away as she turned back to the television, ending our conversation. I tried to suppress my anxiety, hoping that Seth would come to school with me today, or that the other boys wouldn't go to school at all.

Jared, Paul and their group of friends had become tormentors over the year, and they were relentless. I had, on more than one occasion, come home with bloodied knees, bruised wrists, cut hair, grass stains from my 'falls' and hungrier than I had ever been. It was difficult to find a way to get away from them-the Res school was so small that we often ended up in the same classes together. And I was _still_ one of the six girls in our class. The Black sisters, Leah (5th grade), Rachel and Rebecca (2nd grade), were the daughters of the chief-that was automatic protection. Jared and Paul wouldn't dare mess with them.

Annie Cameron was Jared's baby sister, and he was still mean to her but not as mean as he was to me. She spent a lot of time crying too, no one wanted to be friends with her when they knew it would make them a target. And lastly, there was Emily Young. She was only in school for half the year. Her parents were divorced and she was lucky enough to get to go away to Florida for six months of the year, the boys thought that she was too pretty and too cool to bully. I ended up with all their attention.

"Come on, Kammy, let's go to school"

That was my favourite voice in the whole world. I watched Seth come through the front door, all ready for school-not completely ready, his shirt was all crinkled and his hair was a little dirty. But Seth was here, and that meant that he would sit with me all day. He was no longer friends with either Paul or Jared, they had fought during the summer and just stopped speaking.

"Kammy isn't a nice nickname Seth, my name is Kimberly" I reminded him.

As usual, he rolled his eyes and pulled me into a tight hug. I could smell the tobacco that his father smoked on his shirt. Seth was lucky that Harry Clearwater was his father, Mr Clearwater was a council member and best friends with both Chief Black (the chief of the tribe) and Chief Swan (the Forks boss of police). And Chief Swan was really nice too, he came with dinner whenever he came to visit mom, that was almost three times a week. It didn't make Mr Clearwater happy though, Seth thought that he still loved our mom, but they were divorced. And that meant that she could be friends with whoever she wanted to now, at least that was how she had explained it,

"Well I like Kammy. I'm the only one in whole wide world who is ever going to call you Kammy. It's cool" he shrugged.

Seth picked my raincoat out from the hallway closet and wrapped it around my waist, so that I wouldn't forget it or get it lost. I always forgot it in class or on the playground. He handed me my backpack and grabbed onto my hand before we made our way onto the forest path we used to get to school.

"Kim...did you tell mom about Paul and Jared?"

I felt my heart begin to race. Seth was no longer friends with them, but he still hadn't gotten them into trouble-even though he could. I knew that Seth wouldn't ever hurt me like _they_ did, but I didn't want him to be mad at me either. And _would_ he be mad? Yes, he protected me, but we had never spoken about what _they_ were doing, he was just always there when _they_ were too.

"Not everything...just that...I didn't...want to go to school" I confessed.

I didn't bother looking at him out of the corner of my eye, I kept my eyes on my faded pink sneakers and my frilly black ankle socks.

"Next time, don't tell mom. Tell Dr Gerandy...or Mr Newton. Parents _have_ to listen to doctors, it's the law, and Mr Newton is your father. He'll try to help you, he's a nice guy"

It was difficult to keep surprise to myself. Seth wasn't always nice when my dad came to visit, and he only visited twice a month too. I had another big brother, Mike he was a year older than me, but he never came. Dad had shown me some pictures of him, we didn't look the same at all. Mike and dad looked the same-same skin, same hair, same eyes. People could tell that that was his dad. Dad and I didn't look the same-different hair, different skin and different eyes. My skin was dark, like mom's and my hair was a dark brown, not like dad's bright yellow hair. My eyes were dark too, Mike and dad had hazel eyes. I looked like mom and Seth, not like them.

"Would they take me away? That's what they do to hurt kids on TV, they take them away" I said softly.

And that was what kept me quiet. The doctor might not believe me, my teachers didn't. They said that I was a 'damsel', or 'making up stories' like my mother. But my mother didn't lie, she had never lied to me. And I wasn't making up stories, and the boys weren't just 'playing rough'. They always did this on purpose.


	3. 2003 - Nice Yellow Pleats

2003

I was nervous about seeing Seth again. The last time that we had spoken he had told my father about the bullying, he had told him everything. It wasn't long after that that dad had pulled me out of the Res school and put me into the school in Forks. And now Seth and I didn't even live together anymore, I was with the Newtons.

"Kim! Where's my baseball bat?" Mike yelled from downstairs.

I never knew where Mike kept his things, and Mike knew that I didn't know where he kept his things, and yet he always asked. Mrs Newton, who _still_ didn't like me, always kept Mike's things in her and my father's bedroom. She had this idea in her head that I would give all of Mike's things to Seth-even though I hadn't seen Seth in almost three months. We had last seen each other at the end of summer.

"Michael, your bat is in the bedroom, where I always leave it" she sounded like she was smiling. She always sounded like she was smiling, even when I could tell that she was angry.

I turned my attention back to the mirror and straightened out the dress that I was wearing, making sure that the bright yellow pleats looked 'nice and neat'. My hair was pulled back into an ugly high ponytail and I was wearing uncomfortable glittered sandals. Mrs Newton liked to dress me up whenever my mother came to visit, it was her way of being mean.

There was a soft knock on the door, the sound of voices and then the door closed. My heart was pounding in my chest. Seth might ignore me, or be angry that I had left him. I hadn't wanted to leave him, my father had made me.

"Kammy..."

That was the sound of my big brother, my _real_ big brother. He always loved me. It was never pretend.

"Seth...are you still mad at me?" I was desperate to know

He looked surprised. Maybe he hadn't expected me to ask for his forgiveness, but I needed it. It was so difficult to be without him, he always made sure that I was safe and happy. And I was safe in the Newton house, no one had ever tried to hurt me, but I wasn't happy. It wasn't fair that I had to be taken away from my home.

"I'm not mad at you Kammy, I never was. Me telling...your dad, that was to protect you. I guess I never thought the whole thing through, Mr Newton made you move away. But this is good, Paul and Jared won't hurt you here. You're too far away from them. Are you mad at me?" he said quietly.

Now it was my turn to be surprised. How could I be mad at him?! _I_ was the one who broke the promise to tell someone about Paul and Jared, and _I_ was the one who had left (even though I didn't want to). But _he_ was the one who had never come with mom when she came to visit, was that because he thought that _I_ was mad at _him_?

"Never Sethy, you protected me" he had always hated that nickname, but he didn't even flinch at it. Not even an angry face. Instead, he hugged me, it was a tight big brother hug like I always wanted.

"Mom wants to see you too, she's still mad. Not at you but at Mr Newton, she's still trying to find a judge that will make you come back home. But don't worry about it Kammy, you don't have to come back. Not until it's safe"


	4. 2004 - Baseball

2004

The fourth grade was better and Mrs Newton was a lot nicer too, Mike had to repeat the year so now we were in the same class. Sometimes she'd let me call her Karen, but only if I helped Mike with his homework. Seth helped too when he visited, she was nicer to him too. She still didn't like mom though, and she made it kind of obvious too. Mom couldn't even call when it was just Karen that was home, not that it happened very often.

"How was school this week? Do anything fun?" Seth asked. Every Friday he would ask the same question, mom only visited once a month now so he told her everything. I couldn't tell if he meant it when he said that she wanted to know too, she hardly even answered when I called her anymore. Seth always said that it wasn't me that she was angry with, but I didn't believe it.

"I'm doing better in gym, all that baseball stuff you taught me helped. I'm almost as good as Mike now. And I'm better than some of the boys on the team, the coach says that if there's a girls team someday I could get to play" I giggled. It drove Mike crazy that I was getting better, he didn't like it when girls beat him in anything. And I always made sure that I tried my hardest to beat him, Seth had made me promise to do that.

He laughed, I liked that I had made him laugh, he hadn't been doing it so much when he came to visit me. "That's good, Newt needs a good kick in the ass". Seth wasn't _supposed_ to use bad language but he always did now, he didn't use the very bad one's around me but I still knew them. Mom would complain if she was home more, I was sure, but Seth said that she was working more to get mpre money. She even got a second job.

"Mike doesn't like it when you call him Newt, he tells Karen that people are teasing him when they say it" I reminded him, but I knew that I didn't to, I knew that Seth knew that he hated that nickname. I also knew that Seth didn't like Mike at all and that he had done it on purpose. But Mike didn't like Seth either, Seth refused to help Mike get better ar baseball and Mike never forgot it. He had called Seth a 'Res Rat' once and dad had given him a hiding as soon as he had said it. Now he got bavk at Seth by trying to be a better big brother, but he was only nice to me when he wanted his homework done or when Seth was over.

"Who cares about Mike anyway, tell me about school and all your friends there. What's going on? Are the kids still being nice?" he wanted to know, this was another question Seth asked. I always told him that no one there treated me like Paul and Jared had but he kept asking, maybe he wanted to see if I was lying. I didnt have a lot of friends but there were no bullies, except Mike but he didn't count he was just a big baby most of the time, and the teachers always kept an eye on me after dad had told them about what haf happened before.

"Kimberly, Tyler is at the roor for you" Karen yelled. Seth and I were only next door in the dining room but she always yelled, she wouldn't let him go upstairs alone yet. I was nervous about Seth meeying Tyler, Seth was always hard on the people I talked to and I liked Tyler. I didn't know if I _liked him_ liked him but I did kind of like him, he always saved me a chair at lunch and he didnt let Mike call me names or steal my coloured pens-he liked trying to take them whenever he couldn't find his.

"Who's Tyler?" Seth hissed at me, "You never said that you had a boyftiend!". Tyler knew about Seth because we talked at school but Seth didnt know anything about _him_ , and he wasn't my boyfriend but he was my best friend. It didn't even matter that he used to be Mike's friend before, they didn't evrn talk now anyway. Mike stopped being Tyler's friend when Tyler quit baseball.

"Tyler isn't my boyfriend Sethy, he's just a friend from school. Please don't be mean to him, he's just like you. He protects me too" I pleaded. I wanted them to be friends so that Seth could see that I could be normal too, I wasn't a cry baby anymore. We haf both grown up now, it wasn't just him.

"Hey Kim, I brought some movies over. Mom got _Cinderella_ and _The Little Mermaid_ fir you, now you'll know all about the princesses Lauren and Jess keep talkibg about..." Tyler trailled off as soon as he realised that I wasn't alone. They both stared at one anothet until Tyler smiled at Seth, he was still missing a front tooth but he wasn't even trying to hide it like he dud at school. "I'm Tyler, Kim says you're the best baseball player in the whole school".

"Did you bring those over so that she doesn't get left out?" he asked Tyler, and Tyler quickly nodded. Seth looked at him funny before he put all of his books and his baseball gear in his bag. "You better not kiss her Tyler, I can tell that you like her. See you next week Kim, I'll bring some more stuff from your room", after a quick kiss on my cheek he left and the front door shut loudly behind him.

Tyler was blushing, but I was too, he had never said that he wanted to kiss me but that's what Seth thought. You only kissed someone if you _liked_ _them_ liked them, and he didn't _like me_ like me. He would have said, right? "You're brother is kind of silly...we're just friends, right Kim? And I wouldn't even kiss you, girls have cooties" but he did hold my hand and pull me up the stairs so that we could watch the movies. I knew that Tyler didn't like watching girl movies so I tried not remind him how excited I was that I finally got to watch one. "Here, I got you a teddy too...for when you can't sleep" he added.


	5. 2005 - Friends Talk About Boys

2005

Tuesday

School was better with Tyler at my side, and home was even better because he and Seth were friends too. Seth had given up on the idea that Tyler wanted to kiss me and Tyler had stopped blushing every time he looked at, everything was nice and normal. Even Mike was a little nicer, Tyler thought that it was because he got kicked off of the baseball team for fighting. If he was good enough be would get to play again next year.

Lauren and Jessica still thought that Tyler was my secret boyfriend, everyone else except the two of us was dating anyway. It made the boy-girl parties weird because boyfriends and girlfriends went together but we only went together as best friends. He was my very best friend, he never laughed at me and he always made sure that no one was mean to me, he even knew all my secrets. Except for the one lie that I had told him, I pretended to have a crush on a boy from the Res after he told me that he had a crush on Lauren. I don't know why I lied but I did, and I couldn't take it back now.

"Come on Kim, just tell us if Tyler is your boyfriend. Or at least tell us if you've ever kissed before, I told you about Mike" Jessica said loudly. I looked around to see if Tyler had heard her tell people that we were secretly dating too, and he didn't seem to like it when I had told him about it before. "Yeah, Kim, and I told you all about Ben. Friends talk about boys Kim, aren't you our friend?" Lauren asked. Angela Webber had told me that she thought that Lauren might have a crush on Tyler, was this her way of figuring out if he was available. Would she take him away if I said that he wasn't my boyfriend?

"Come on Kim, let's walk home before Mike leaves us again" once again Tyler saved me. He grabbed my hand and led me away from the scowling girls so that we could catch up to Mike. He was walking home with Ben at his side. "What were Lauren and Jessica talking about? You looked kind of worried" he said to me. I lifted my head to look at him and his focus was on the sidewalk, he was counting the cracks and jumping over them again. It was something new he had started doing.

"They still want to know if you're my secret boyfriend. They think that I lied to them" I said quietly. He stopped for a moment before he kept jumping over cracks, but now his face was turned away from me. I couldn't tell if he was mad or not. "Jessica wants you to date Eric Yorkie, he told her that he has a crush on you...that's why she's asking" he was just barely audible, and he didn't sound happy about it. But Eric was Tyler's friend, and Tyler had always said that Eric was one of the nicest boys in our class.

"Eric? I didn't know that he liked me...are you sure that that's what he said?" I asked confused. Tyler stopped jumping and turned to look at me, he was definitely mad. Was he mad at me or Jessica or Eric? "Do you like Eric?" he wanted to know. He was confusing me, I didn't understand what it was that was making him so upset. He never ever got angry, not even at Mike and they fought all the time. "Tyler, are you mad at me? Did I do something today?".

He didn't say anything he just dropped my hand started to walk a little faster, "Hurry up, I need to get you home" he huffed.

Friday

It had been _days_ since Tyler had talked to me, he would still save me a seat and walk me to and from school but he was still upset too. He wouldn't even hold my hand anymore. Jessica and Lauren thought that it was funny, and that Tyler was 'just being a boy', but Tyler _never_ acted like the other boys he was _always_ just my best friend. And when he was oddly absent from our lunch table Eric, Ben and Mike decided to sit down next to me.

"Where's Tyler? I thouht that he was your lunch buddy" Ben asked, but it sounded funny because he had stuffed half a sandwich in his mouth. I shrugged my shoulders, Tyler had hardly told me anything this week. "Making he's sitting with Lauren" Eric said. My blood ran cold, would he have left me without saying anything to go sit with Lauren? Was he her boyfriend now, is that why he had been mad at me? Lauren didn't really like me, maybe she had said something to him about me.

"Kim...since Tyler is with Lauren, would you like to be _my_ girlfriend?" he whispered. Mike and Ben were throwing chips into each others mouth and had missed Eric's question. His girlfriend? I didn't want to be Eric's girlfriend, I only wanted to be his friend. And I still wanted to be Tyler's bext friend. even if he was dating Lauren. "No thank you, I don't want to be anyone's girlfriend" I whispered back. Eric sat back in his chair, he was angry with me for saying no. "Anyone except Tyler" he hissed before he stormed off, Mike and Ben following closely behind him.

Eric, Mike and Ben hadn't even looked at me for the rest of the day, but Tyler was there when it was time to walk home. And he even held my hand. Whatever had made Tyler mad must have ended, but he hadn't even said bye to Eric and Ben like he usually did.

"Are you done being mad now?" I asked quietly. He was acting like he usually did but he still hadn't talked to me yet. "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you, Kim...I'm not mad anymore. I promise" he smiled. He seemed nervous too, this was our first fight and I still didn't know what we even fought about. "Will you tell me why you were mad?" I wanted to know. He shrugged, "I'll tell you some day".


	6. 2006 - Hugs and babies

2006

Karen had spent most of the year in the hospital after getting into a bad car accident on her way back from the Newton store, her body was covered in casts, bandages and even some burns. Dad didn't even let Mike or I see her in the beginning, he didn't think that we would like to see her lime that. Seth stayed at the house on the nights that dad stayed with her at the hospital, Mike hated it at first but he seemed to be doing better.

Tyler never left my side, even when Chief Swan's daughter started to vist Forks again during the summer, _all_ the boys wanted to go down to La Push to see her on the beach or the tide pools. I was scared that Tyler would want to be her friend instead of mine and go see her, but he never asked if we could go to the beach or La Push in general, but he did start trying yo get us to go to Port Angeles. I had never been but Tyler had gone at least once a month with his parents, more so now that his mom was having a baby.

He didn't seem to like that she was pregnant but I did, Mrs Crowley would talk to the baby, tell it that she loved it and even played music for it-and she didn't even know if the baby could hear or understand it. She would sometimes let me touch het tummy and sing to the baby, sometimes I got to feel the baby kick. I wanted to be a mom like her, I wanted to sing to my baby too and make funny snacks like marshmallows on waffles too. Tyler didn't hate the baby but he wasn't interested in dinging to it with me, at leadt not until the baby was actually here.

"Will you still want to come over? You know...when the baby isn't here, in the house" Tyler seemed nervous, he always seemed nervous these days. His voice would crack and get deeper for a few seconds before it woukd change back, he was always anxious about whether or not people were laughing at him about it. But they never were, everyone loved him too much to do that to him, and I would never let that happen anyway.

I rolled from my stomach onto my back, trying not to fall off of his single bed, so that I could see his face. He was worried and embarrassed. "You're my best friend, Tyler" I waited until he looked at me "I'm not here for the baby I'm here for you...I just like hearing about the baby sometimes" I told him. He smiled and reached for my hand, and he started to run his thumb across the top of my hand, that was something new that he had been doing gor the last few weeks. I didn't know why or what it meant but it was nice.

"Karen will be getting back from the hospital in a few weeks, will your dad want you to go straight home after school now? I'm sure that Tyler likes you staying here until he picks you up after work" and that was Mrs Crowley at the door, she slways made us keep it open now. Seth thought that she might think that Tyler and I were starting to kiss, even though we weren't. But he did stop stroking my hand and just held it when his mother walked in.

"Mom..." he dragged on, he was blushing again and looking back down at the floor. His mother smiled and sat down at the corner of the bed where I had laid my head and put it in her lap while she stroked my hair. "Don't you like having Kimberly over Tyler? She's such a sweet girl, isn't she?" she asked with her smile. She was wearing what Mr Crowley called her meddling face.

"Yes, she's my best friend" he told her. He still wasn't looking up and I haf to squeeze his hand to get him to even look at me, bug he wouldn't smile and he was still blushing. "And Kimberly, honey, don't you love Tyler?" she asked. She had asked us different questions, was that on purpose? Did she know that when I thought about kissing I would sometimes think about Tyler? Not _all_ the time but just _sometimes?_ "Yes, he's my best friend" I blushed.

But I couldn't look at him yet, he had to know that I loved him, people loved their friends, but maybe he could also tell that I started thinking about kissing, and I wondered why Tyler would only hug me when I was upset. Why didn't he just hug me all the time? He held my hand all the time, but now he was stroking it too. I didn't know what that meant and I didn't know who to ask, Seth would make a big deal out of it and I couldn't ask Mrs Crowley, not while Tyler was still here. It just confused me.

"And I hear that you two will be going to school dances next year, I'll bet that you two can't wait to go together" she smiled. School dances? People needed _dates_ for those, boyfriend or girlfriend dates. Sure Tyler and I could still do things as friend but what if he _did_ get a girlfriend, what would I do then? He'd go to things with her and I wouldn't even get to see him anymore, and I didn't want that. I wanted him to stay with me, but would he?

"Honey, your mind looks like it's going a thousand miles a minute, relax. Worry about dances and everything else _when they come up_. Why don't we all go down to the diner for dinner? I'll tell Mike and Ben to come up and get their things together so that we can all go" she said, and she gave us both kisses on our heads before she left. She always kissed us both whenever she left the room.

"My mom is a little weird, dad says that the hormones make her like that" he said quietly. He stood up while he still held my hand and pulled me up with him, but he wasn't looking at me again. "It's okay, your mom is still really nice...I like her" I said just as quietly. Now he was looking at me, and he was staring hard, like he was really thinking about sonething. "What are you going to do when the dances start happening?" he wanted to know, his voice cracked again but this time he didn't seem to focus on and get embarrassed by it. "I'm going to go with you" I whispered.

 ** _The diner_**

Ben, Mike, Tyler and I sat at one table while Mr and Mrs Crowley sat down at another. We all had cheeseburgers and fries, but Tyler and I shared, even though we both ordered the same thing. The ketchup was on my plate and the mustard was on his, we constantly had to reach over to get some of both. And it was fun, even whrn bumped into each other and ended up dropping fries on the counter. Ben kind of looked at us funny but Mike was used to seeing us eat like that, we did it all the time at home.

"Hey Crow, are you sure that girl Newton isntisn't your girlfriend?" he asked loudly, even Mr and Mrs Crowley turned around to look at us. I felt my cheeks burn up as I focused on my plate, but I didn't look up at Tyler to see what his face looked like. He no longer said that it annoyed him when people asked him that but it didnt mean that he wasn't annoyed by it. But before he could answer I could hear Mike excitedly announce that Bella Swan was in the diner with her father, Chief Black and Jacob Black.

I was suddenly very nervous. I knew that Tyler might like Bella and ask her to be his girlfriend but I also hadn't seen Jacob Black or anyone else from the Res since I had left. And I remembered Jacob helping Paul and Jared be mean to me. Would he do that to me in front of Tyler? "Hey Bella! Come sit with us" Mike invited, and I was no longer hungry. In fact, I felt sick. "Hey guys, do you know Jacob? Csn he come sit here too?" she asked vibrantly.

And that was how we sat. Mike, Ben and Tyler all talked to Jacob and Bella while I kept quiet and waited for everything to finish so that I could go home. Tyler wasn't holding my hang or stroking it and I wished that he was, but he used his hands to eat, and so I used mine to play with the hem of my t-shirt. They talked about the beach and it's tide pools, and Mike even mentioned that we should all go hiking together. And that was when Bella told us that she would be moving back to Forks next year.

"That's so cool, we'll all be in the same class" Mike announced. In the same class and going to the same school dances, and I didn't know who she would want, she could have anyone. They all wanted her. "Hey Kim...are you okay?" Jacob asked "It's just...you're not talking" and that halted the conversation, suddenly there were curious eyes on me. Had he done that on purpose? Would he still be mean even when Paul and Jared weren't here? "I'm fine" and I forced a smile to make it believable but I didn't know if it worked. "Can I talk to yoy then? In private?" he wanted to know. Again the table was still quiet, but I nodded my head and followed him to a booth three tables away.

We sat down opposite each other, both quiet while we waited for something to happen. "Kim...I'm really sorry about...everything. We were all mean to you at school and...and we made you leave. I shouldn't have done it, I should have been like Seth and stood up for people" he said quietly. He had apologised, I had been afraid that he would tryto hurt me again but he had said sorry, and I couldn't understand it. "Why?" it came out harsher than I had expected but that was good, it would nake him think that I wasn't scared of him.

"What do you mean why? I did something wrong and I should ssy sorry, because i am sorry Kim. Bella made me see that I wad being a bully too, I didn't have to hurt you to protect myself. I could have told a teacher or my dad, or even just have told Paul and Jared to stop. But i joined in and made it worse for you, that was wrong. We were both in the same boat" he told mr. And it made me angry, he was lying and he knew it. He was never in the same boat as me, they had never threatened him or his sisters because they were related to the Chief. _Everyone_ knew that, Paul and Jared had even said so themselves.

But he had also told Bella what he had helped do, had he told her everything? Had he told anyone else? Was she telling everyone else while we were here? My head was spinning. Didn't he know how embarrassing it was to have everyone hear that? Or was that his intention this whole time? Was he still being cruel? "I don't want to talk to you anymore" I said through my teeth. i didn't know what he was doing but I didn't like it.

"No, Kim, please wait. I'm trying to make things right. I swear. Can you please, please just let me talk to you?" he asked grabbing my hand before I could stand up and walk away. His grip wasn't very tight but he made it so that I couldn't move. "Let go of my hand, I don't want this" I told him. But he wouldn't let go, he kept his hand locked around my wrist. "Jacob Black! Let. Her. Go" Chief Black yelled. And now everyone in the diner was looking at us, including Tyler and Bella. "I wasn't hurting her dad, honest, you can ask her" he said quickly. "Let her go" his father repeated.

He reluctantly let me go and I made sure to stand next to Mr Crowley who was now at the table, "Kim, are you hurt anywhere?" he wanted to know. I didn't care if I was, everyone was watching me and i was embarrassed. Hot tears made their way down my cheeks and he pulled me into a tight hug. "Can we just go?" I asked him quietly and he picked me up before we walked out of the diner.

 ** _Crowley House_**

After an hour or two everything had died down, Mr Crowley and i walked back to the house in silence, he had stopped carrying me but he did hold my hand. He even handed me some tissues from his pocket to wipe my face. It was only once we were in the house and I had had some water that he started asking me if anyone wad hurting me at school or the Res, he wanted to know if Tyler protected me and if I thought it would happen again. I told him the truth, that this wad the first time after a long time and he said that he would talk to both my father and Chief Black about what had happened earlier. I knew that Seth would be upset when he found out too.

When Mrs Crowley had brought everyone back from the diner I pretended to be asleep, I didn't want to talk to anyone about what had happened, especially not Tyler. But I knew that it would happen sometime in the future, probably tomorrow. For now I just forced my eyes closed and tried not to smile when I felt Tyler put his arm around me. It almost felt like he was trying to hug me.


	7. 2007 - Shirts and Bikinis

2007

 ** _First Beach_**

"Are you ready to go?" Seth asked. It was my first time going back to La Push since I had moved in with my father, and I was nervous to be here. It was summer and _everyone_ was the on the beach, the only thing that made me feel better was having both Seth and Tyler at my sides. They knew that I was scared and they were here to help me. Seth knew just how bad it could get, Tyler had no idea. I had just told him that I didn't have any friends here.

"We don't have to go down to the beach, we could just stay here in the forest. We already have a blanket and some snacks" Tyler suggested, and I would have said yes if I didn't know just how badly he wanted to be down on the beach. Tyler had gone through puberty and he was the tallest guy in the class, almost as tall as the teachers, and he had some muscle on his arms from helping his neighbours fix their roofs. He had talked about how nice he thought he would look on the beach, I didn't know who he wanted to impress but he was desperate for this moment.

"No, we're going...you two wanted to go cliff diving. We should get going then" I exhaled. Truthfully I was nervous, after the confrontation with Jacob last year the Chief and the other members of the council had found out everything. My father and Mr Crowley had made sure that Jacob was punished, not that they needed to Seth said that Chief Black and Chief Swan were both very hard on him, and they had even replaced a teacher at the Res school. My mother still hadn't spoken to me and I had long given up on trying to call her, so I didn't know how she felt about everything coming out. But everyone now knew why I had left her and the school.

"Okay, we'll sit down for a while and maybe swim for a bit, then we'll go diving" Tyler compromised. The short walk to the beach was over before I knew it and we had managed to find a good spot to set ourselves up on. Seth took off for the cliff as soon as he had made sure that none of the other boys were near, Tyler pulled off his shirt and sat down on the other side of the blanket. He looked...I couldn't even look at him without his shirt on. His muscles weren't very big but there was more than any of the other boys had. He would definitely get some girls attention, and I didn't want to be upset about it but I was. A girlfriend might take my best friend away from me.

I followed Tyler's lead and pulled my shirt and shorts off, I didn't have a bikini like the other girls but I did have on a nice black one piece. It even had a matching sarong that I coukd wrap around my waist if I wanted to. My ponytail was a little loose so I had to redo it so that I wouldn't lose my hair tie in the water, but I did see Tyler looking my way out of tbe corner of my eye. "So you...uh...getting into the water now?" he asked with his eyes on the floor. There were times where I wondered about Tyler and this was one of them, he was looking down at his shoes while he spoke. Was he embarrassed because I wasn't dressed like everyone else? Because I was still in a kiddie suit?

"Not yet, but you can go so long. I'll just sit here for a bit" I said. If I stood up to go to the water there would be attention on me, and I still wanted some time to be brave before I did that. "Uh...okay. I'll just...go" and he took off like a rocket. He was having moments like that recently, he'd disappear to his room or the bathroom when we were still in the middle of something, or go to bed early for no reason. Some nights he'd be okay with us being on the same bed and other nights he'd just _have_ to be alone. I couldn't figure out what was going on, I was afraid that he didn't want tobe friends anymore.

"Kim..." the voice was familiar and I felt myself cringe, why was he here? Why did he have to talk to me? "Kim? I really need to talk to you" he tried again. My eyes flickered from Tyler to Jacob Black, he was standing awkwardly at the foot of my towel. My mouth felt dry, there was no way I could express how much I didn't want to talk to him. I froze. But he seemed to think that I was okay talking to him because he stepped on to the towel and took a seat, he even looked behind him where I saw Chief Black watching us both. Maybe his father had sent him over her.

"I just...last year was a bust for me. I tried to say sorry but I didn't do it right, I wanted you to forgive me so thst Bella would think that I was good. I wanted her to like me" he started. I had known that he hadn't meant his apology but I didn't know that Bella was the reason why. "But after that she stopped speaking to me, she said that I was still being a bully and I didn't get why, but I do now. I was forcing you to forgive me, that isn't why you say sorry. But I do mean it now, and it isn't for anything other reason this time. I'm really sorry Kim" he said quietly.

"What are you doing here Black? I thought that you were staying away" Seth suddenly said from behind me. I hadn't heardor seen him come this way, but my attention had been on Tyler before Jacob had come to sit beside me. "I know that you want to beat me up, and I get it. But she deserves an apology and I had to give it to her...you can still beat me up though" Jacob didn't even seem afraid when he spoke. Did he really think that about me? "Kim, are you okay?" Tyler asked. He was dripping water on to both Jacob and the towel and he didn't seem to care.

"I'm fine. You can go Jacob, I don't want anyone to get beaten up" I said loudly, Seth wanted to do the same thing that they had done to me. And that was wrong. Jacob stood up and made his way back to his father, no one missed the way that he looked back when he walked. "Did he touch you?" Seth wanted to know, I shook my head no. "What did he want?" Tyler asked. "To say sorry" I replied.

 ** _Later that day_**

The hours on the beach had been fun, even with Jacob giving me the occasional look. I knew that I hadn't told him if I had forgiven him or not, but I wasn't sure. I still didn't know if it was sincere or not. But Tyler and I had still managed to have fun swimming in the water, he even grabbed my hand again but he didn't hug me. It seemed that whatever it was that was bothering him was no longer an issue.

"Kimberly, why don't you and your friend join us for the bonfire? Seth will be there" Chief Black asked. I hadn't seen him during the day but he had seemed to make a reappearance. "I'd have to adk my father first, he's supposed to come and pick us up, sir" I answered quickly. Chief Black had slways _seemed_ nice but I had always thought that he was just a little bit scary. Chief Swan was scary too until he had started being friends with my mother, he would still do the occasional magic trick when I saw him around town. But they both seemed very relaxed today. "Charlie will call up your father amd ask, in the meantime go and warm up by the fire. You don't want to catch a cold" he smiled. i nodded my head and felt Tyler slip his hand in mine as we walked to the fire.

"Let's go sit near Seth" I whispered. Seth was sitting next on a log next to Rachel and Rebecca Black, they were both talking to him about a project when Tyler and I took our seats. Tyler had put his shirt back on but he had wrapped his polar fleece around my shoulders, I had shot him a grateful smile and turned my attention back to the fire. "Hey Kim, who's your friend?" Rebecca asked. She was very obviously nudging Rachel to look at Tyler. "I'm Tyler Crowley" he answered quickly, his arm was still around me and I felt him pull me in a bit when the attention landed on us. "Wow, Tyler. Are you Kim's boyfriend?" Rachel asked.

Tyler no longer got upset when people at school asked if we were dating but I didn't know if that would change here on the Res. He had seen a small part of how I was treated, and he kept saying that he still wanted to be my friend bug I didn't know. "Kim is my best friend, no one knows me better than her" he smiled, but his eyes were still on Jacob. Every time I had caught Jacob looking at me Tyler would look annoyed, but I also knew that Tyler wad still upset about last year. "So then you don't have a boyfriend Kim?" Rachel asked. My eyes searched for an adult, I didn't want to have to go through questions like these again. "Lay off Rachel. Be nice" Rebecca hissed.

"Kimberly, your father doesn't mind you staying for an hour or two, Charlie will take you two back home" Chief Black boomed from the second bonfire where all the adults were. "Thank you" I replied and he nodded back. "I wasn't trying yo be mean Kim I was just asking. He just acts like a boyftiend" Rachel told me. My cheeks started to burn, sometimes he'd hold my hand like boyfriends did but he wasn't my boyfriend. Girls kissed their boyfriends and Tyler and I had never kissed.

"It's fine" I shrugged. Jacob and Quil started to hand out some hotdogs while everyone went back to their own conversations. "I wonder how Chief Swan got your dad to let ypu to stay out late here, he was worried that you might get hurt" Tyler mused. Truthfully I had wondered the same thing, the only thing that could have changed his mind was a police escort home and tnat was what Chief Swan would do, he only ever drove the squad car. I shared my thoughts with Tyler and he burst out laughing, he was hoping that we'd get to sit in the back like the criminals on TV.

But his good mood vanished when Jacob handed our hotdogs to us, he didn't even let me take mine myself instead he ripped it out of Jacob's hand. He had been a little off all day but this was too much, he was the one who kept saying that I should get passed what had happened and he was doing the opposite. Clearly I needed to talk to him before a fight or something else broke out, especially if it happened between the two Chiefs-they would _definitely_ tell our parents about that fight and we'd _both_ get in trouble. "Tyler can we talk for a minute?" I asked him. He placed our hotdogs on the cooler and followed me diwn the beach.

We were only a little ways down from the bonfire but it was so dark that I could hardly see them, so I stopped. My back hit the trunk of a tree as I sighed and thought of what I wanted to say. "I know that I'm being mean" he started. That was good, I didn't have to point it out. "Why? Jacob is trying to be nice, isn't that what we wanted?" I asked. He shrugged and sat down on the forest floor, I sat down beside him. "I just-I didn't think that he would like you like that" he huffed. "Like what?" I wanted to know. And he took a deep breath before he kissed me.

His kiss was clumsy, and it felt like he was trying to lick my lips but I was finally kissing Tyler. His one hand was on my waist and the other on my hip, and it was nice, it was even nicer when he calmed down enough for me to kiss him back. But he didn't stay on my lips very long, soon his kisses were on my neck and my feelings were all over the place. It was nice, very nice, but it was also weird. It felt like more was supposed to happen and I didn't know what more meant. "Kim! Tyler! Time to go" Chief Swan yelled, and we jumped apart before he came looking for us


	8. 2008 - Insecure Beach Party

2008

 ** _Crowley House_**

After the kiss on First Beach things had been...strange. In the beginning Tyler would either hover or completely avoid me, and it took three long weeks before we finally managed to talk about it. But we didn't really talk about it we just kissed again at first, but this time he didn't kiss my neck again and I was glad that he didn't. I didn't understand how I felt when he did it. After that we _did_ talk and we had decided to start dating. We didn't tell anyone but Mrs Crowley had figured it out and was happy about it, Mr Crowley said that we had to keep the doors open when we went into Tyler's room.

Mike didn't seem surprised, he said that we were practically married anyway, Karen didn't think that we were practically married but she wasn't surprised either. Dad wanted us to keep the doors open too, and that was all he ever said about it, but his opinion wasn't the most important to me-that was Seth's. And Seth was happy, he felt like Tyler would protect me and he said so. He even maintained his friendship with Tyler and they were even closer now. It made me so happy.

"We should get something to eat" Tyler whispered in my ear. Mrs Crowley was busy with the baby, she was learning to walk now, and that meant that Tyler and I could always get a few minutes alone. We always snuck into the kitchen or even the garden to kiss when no one was looking, and it was one of my favourite parts of the day. We made sure that no one was around before we snuck into the pantry, it smelt like herbs and spices but it was the easiest place to get to.

Tyler had started touching my boobs recently, and it was nice. I worried because my chest wasn't as big as Jessica's but he was always so excited to do it. This time when he touched my boobs he kissed my neck too, he hadn't done that since that night at the beach. I could feel my heart start to pound, I was nervous and scared but mostly excited. Everything felt so _good_ and I didn't know if there was anything that could make me feel this way again. He sucked on my neck and a gasp escaped my lips before I could control it. "Is this okay? Does it hurt?" he asked, his hands had stopped touching me. "It's okay, it feels good" I said honestly and he started up again.

After a few more minutes of kissing we had snuck out of the pantry and really started to make ourselves something to eat. "How did that really feel?" Tyler asked, he reached out to touch where his mouth had been and that spot was still pulsing. I had never been kissed like that but I had enjoyed it. "It was the best Tyler, really...we can do it again" I whispered with a smile. Yes I had been scared about him touching me but he was always okay with stopping when I asked him to, it made things feel a lot better.

"Okay, we can do some more of that...and more stuff if you want, I mean I don't know if you want to but we can think about it" he was nervous. I didn't know what more meant but Mrs Crowley was back before I could ask. "Have you two finished up your snacks? Are you ready to go down to the Reservation?" she wanted to know. Seth had invited us down to go for a hike and then down to the beach with his new friends Collin and Brady. Both boys were brothers who's family had just moved back to the Reservation after living in Seattle, Brady was the same age as Seth and Collin was a year younger than I was. I was excited to meet his new friends. "Almost ready" Tyler yelled as he finished up our snacks and threw our jackets into the duffle bag.

 ** _First Beach_**

"Kammy, this is Collin and that's Brady" Seth introduced. I knew that there were a couple of years between them but they looked like twins, the same haircut, height and style of clothing made it difficult to tell them apart. The only real difference was that Brady had an angry scar on the left side of his jaw. "I'm Kim and this is Tyler...my boyfriend and Seth's friend" I said shyly, this was the first time I had introduced Tyler this way and it felt strange. Beside me Tyler was smiling and had a hint of a blush on his cheeks, but he seemed happy with the introduction.

Jacob was further along the path with Quil and Embry, but I didn't feel like I would walk down to greet him. I had decided to accept his apology but I maintained my distance, we had seen each other at different times during the year but it was always awkward and we had never even bothered to speak about being friends. Tyler still didn't like Jacob, not that I fully understood why, but it seemed to be an extra reason to stay away. I didn't need the drama. "Isn't that Black, Ateara and Call?" Brady asked, I wasn't surprised that they knew each other the Res school was small. But I was surprised when Paul and Jared made their way towards us. "If you want to leave, we can go down to the beach" Seth whispered, I was too surprised to move.

"Hey guys" the two boys greeted at the same time, they were smiling and stopped right beside Brady and Collin. "Kim, Tyler this is my cousin Jared and his friend Paul. Guys, this is Kim and her boyfriend Tyler" Collin introduced. He seemed to miss the looks Seth and Tyler were throwing, Tyler didn't know what Paul or Jared looked like but now he did. "Let's go down to the beach" Tyler hissed tugging on my hand. "Seriously? We were kids when we messed around wigh her, that was years ago. Tell him to get over it, Kim" Jared said as he rolled his eyes.

Paul kept his eyes on Tyler's hand on mine, he didn't even seem like he was listening. "Tell him Kim, we don't need your little boyfriend spreading that kind of shit about us. We got into more than enough trouble with the Chief when Jacob fucked up" Jared continued. He was upset, _he_ was upset. Of all the things I had imagined, this wasn't even an option. "You've got a boyfriend Kim?! He isn't even Quileute" Paul half shouted, that confused me even more than Jared's anger. "Who cares about her boyfriend Paul, he won't fix shit. Kim, tell your boyfriend to stop acting like a douche" he replied. Both Paul and Jared seemed to be in their own little world, not realising just how strange they sounded.

"You're the Kim everyone talks about? _Kim_ Kim?" Brady asked, his focus was on Seth who looked ready to take both Paul and Jared on. But Jared would definitely be his priority if his sneer was anything to go by. "Let's just go to the beach Sethy, please?" I asked. He looked ready to brawl and I didn't want that from him, what he needed to do was to get away from the two boys and he might be okay. I put my one hand in Seth's and the other in Tyler's and led both boys down to the beach, Tyler seemed okay now but that didn't mean that he wasn't angry about the situation either.

 ** _That Evening_**

To Tyler's annoyance it was Jacob and his friends that made Paul and Jared leave us alone, they had tried to follow us down to the beach but he had scared them off. But Seth insisted that they at least get something to eat for their help and that was how they had come to join us. I had stuck by Tyler's side until he had pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me.

"Can't you guys be loved up somewhere else? Some of us are _still_ single" Brady grinned. I had thoughg that Brady might be upset that his cousin wasn't welcome but he had quickly decided that he wasn't Jared's biggest fan. After that things had been smoother, but not between Tyler and Jacob. They both seemed to dislike either but it didn't make any sense, none of them held the strange same grudge with Seth.

"When you end up with a girl like Kim you'll understand" Tyler said with a kiss to my temple. He was getting nore and more affectionate, I knew that one day soon he would want to tell everyone that we were together. "Seems weird that you would say that, have you told any of _your_ friends about how _happy_ Kim makes you?" Embry asked dryly. It was the first time that he had spoken and his words brought about an awkward silence. "Cool it, Emb. It's not your business" Seth said quickly. This seemed to trigger something in Embry, he jumped up on his feet and started to rant, "What? We all look like bad guys for what we've done, and I get that it was wrong. We've all paid for it, but _he's_ worse than any of us. He's feeling up your sister Seth, _your sister_. And then he turns her into his secret!".

My heart stopped in my chest and I felt Tyler's arms tense around me. I knew that Tyler cared about me, even if it was a little bit, but I had never even considered that _he_ might be keeping _me_ a secret. In the beginning he had been upset when people even _asked_ if we were dating, but he had changed. The questions didn't upset him anymore, he even smiled at them sometimes. Did that mean that _he_ felt like our relationship wasn't serious? Did he think that this was some joke that he could keep a secret? I hadn't pushed for us to tell people that we were together, but he hadn't either. What did that say about _us?_ Was there an _us?_

"I'm not keeping Kim a secret. Do you guys know what your _mistakes_ cost her? She's _insecure_ _all the time_ , she hates attention. And that's your fault, why put her in the spotlight when all it's ever done is get her targeted by _people like you_?" Tyler yelled back. I knew that he was probably trying to defend me, but all I could focus on was him telling _them_ how damaged I still felt. _How could he do that to me?_ He _knew_ how much I hated it when Karen and my father did it in front of stangers, but he had been so much worse. He had done it in front of _them_.

"What are you doing?" I said through my teeth, I jumped out of his lap and turned to face him. But he was still glaring at Embry, not even bothering to give me some of his attention. "Tyler! What did you just do?" I repeated. He had only _just_ figured out that I wad upset too, but he looked confused. "I'm defending. I'm tired of them thinking thatthry can just shove me out of the way for _Jacob_. JacoJacob doesn't care about you Kim, he only apologised because he thinks that you got hot. You have to see that" he seethed.

"I'm with you Tyler, _you_ not Jacob. Jacob and I aren't even friends, but that doesn't even matter. Why would you tell them that? You _know_ how I feel about that!" I shouted. But he didn't even seem to get what I was trying to say. "They should know how they hurt you, they keep acting like the past is in the past and it isn't. I'm not going to act like things are okay when they aren't" he said to me. I couldn't believe that he didn't understand how I felt, we were always on the same wavelength and for the first time we weren't. "It should be _my_ choice. Not yours" I said before I walked away.

 ** _Newton House_**

Even though Tyler had stayed the weeked we hadn't spoken since the fight on the beach two days ago, and it was Monday morning. In the house it had been easy to avoid him, he always slept on the couch and I had stayed upstairs. Mike had been curious about our argument and kept trying to get me to tell him what had happened, the only good thing about that was that it meant that Tyler probably hadn't told him either.

But in a few minutes we would all be in one car and then everyone at school would realise that Tyler and I weren't talking, and Lauren was always looking for a way to make Tyler _her_ boyfriend. And I was afraid that she would succeed, and I would lose him. Even though no one there had ever known that we were together in the first place. Instead of worrying about her I focused on what I was wearing today and whether or not I looked nice. If I was going to have a bad day I might as well make sure that some part of it is good.

My bedroom door opened quietly and before I knew it, there was a set of lips on mine. But I knew this kiss, it was the same clumsy and hurried kiss I had received thst night on the beach. As he pulled away I saw the anxiety and the agitation in his posture, he looked just as upset as I was. "You're right, it was your choice and I took it from you. I was scared, he said that you were my secret and you believed him. I could tell. It was my way of defending you and it was wrong, Kim I'm sorry please don't end this" he begged.

"I'm not going to leave you Tyler, I was just...I was upset. I never wanted them to know what I went through. It's embarrassing that I could never defend myself, instead of fixing the problem I hsd to leave" I confessed. What was truly embarrassing was that I couldn't handle what they had probably done to someone else, someone eho didn't have to move to make it stop. "That's not embarrassing, you were pulled out of a situation you shouldn't have been in and-and we never would have met if you never left" he pulled me tighter into his arms as he spoke.

He was right, I had always stopped my thoughts at being driven to Forks, but things were _a lot_ better now. "You said that Jacob only apologised because I 'got hot'" I said, and his relaxed arms started to stiffen. "He likes you, he doesn't even try to hide it. Embry and Quil, they want him to end up with you. But I want you Kim, I've always wanted you" he said into my hair. So he was jealous, there was nothing to be jealous over. Jacob knew that things were still strained, and he might have driven Paul and Jared away but it hadn't changed anything. At the end of the day things were still strained. "I don't want him Tyler, I never have".

Tyler dropped his arms from my body to pull off his jacket and I couldn't help but laugh at the sight underneath, he had taken a pen to a white shirt and written 'Kim's boyfriend' in his messy handwriting. "I'm going to wear this shirt and this jacket to school today, and if you tell me to take my jacket off I will. This is your choice Kim" he smiled. And I smiled too as I helped him pull his jacket back on.


	9. 2009 - Sweet Sixteen

2009

 ** _Harry Clearwater's Place_**

My mother had spent the last few months in prison, I hadn't known that Seth was having problems with her until Chief Swan had finally arrested her for drug possession and endangering a minor. So now Seth stayed with his father, and that meant that I got to visit him more now. It was strange in the beginning, it was easy to see that they didn't know how to live together but it seemed like he was happier than he had been with mom too. Harry made sure that we spent nights at each other's places and he had even tried to get me to go fishing with them, but that wasn't for me. Cleaning the fish always made me feel sick.

Karen and my father seemed to be getting happier too, but that might have more to do with Mike's 16th birthday coming up. There was a big party being planned for the next evening and almost everyone was invited to come and see how 'wonderful' the family was. Over the last few months Mike and Jessica had become the 'It' couple and they were planning on hosting the party as a couple too-dad and Karen would be put for the evening so I had no idea what they would actually be doing while the party went on.

"I can't believe Karen actually invited you to the party, and that she's letting you stay the night too" I said excitedly. Seth only got to spend one night a week at the house but he hadn't been allowed to come around when Harry wasn't there to pick him up afterwards, but he would get to stay the whole weekend to be a part of Mike's party. "It's no surprise Kammy, with mom locked up she's just trying to look perfect" he shrugged.

He might not have seemed it but he was excited to have the weekend at the house, every now and then his eyes would drift over to the clock and check the time. In...twelve more minutes dad was supposed to come and take us back to the house so that we could help setup. Tyler was already there with Ben and Eric, Mike was probably still making out with Jessica Stanley. That was all he ever did these days, that and double date with Lauren and Eric. Ben had yet to find a girlfriend but everyone knew that he was in love with Angela Weber. It was sweet and sad that he was too nervous to talk to her, she seemed to like him too.

"Okay kids, Newton's at the door. Act right Seth, and look out for your sister. Call if things get out of hand" that was Harry's standard goodbye messahe and he had delivered it yet again. It was nice that he had included me in it, in the beginning Harry hadn't seemed to like me very much but he was definitely more affectionate now. Sometimes I even got a kiss on the head, or he would hold my hand while we walked to a council meeting. He wasn't my father but it was nice enough thag he felt like one, my own father wasn't as affectionate as he was. "Will do dad" Seth grinned.

 ** _Newton House_**

It seemed like the party was alreafy getting started when dad dropped us off at the start of the driveway, and instead of staying to see what was going on he had sped off and gone to Karen. "Well, I guess that that means that you have permission to do whatever the hell you want" my brother sighed. He was a little nicer to everyone after Karen had decided to 'step up' in mom's absence, her words not mine, and she made an effort to treat Seth like family. But he still made comments under his breath whenever he could.

"You're going to have to be nice Seth, at least for tonight" I reminded. This was still Mike's party and he was more or less in charge of who got to stay, I didn't want Seth to be kicked out over something that could be avoided. "Okay, okay. No fights, I swear" he promised. I followed his lead into the house where music was already blasting and the furniture had been pushed up against the walls.

"There's my girl" Tyler grinned, he wobbled along the living room and put a firm hand around my waist. He had been drinking, even though he _knew_ that he was a lightweight and would probably throw up later. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked concerned. He wasn't a drunk, but he could be a handful when he was drunk, and I didn't want him hurting himself if it could be avoided. "He's fine Kim, stop playing Mother Hen...come have a drink with me" Jessica giggled. Now she looked drunk, I wondered if she knew that her lipstick was all over Mike's face and that her shirt was inside out. "Yeah, come on baby sister, come have a drink" Mike said as he slipped his hands into his girlfriends back pockets.

"Maybe later" I lied. And they knew that I was lying.I never drank, not when I could avoid it. I was still afraid of embarrassing myself. "Leave my girlfriend alone, she's fine just the way she is" Tyler said to them, "Let's go upstairs" he whispered in my ear. After making sure that Seth was alright and that everyone else was comfortable Tyler and I made our way up the stairs, closing the door behind us as we entered my room. He had been in my room plenty of times but this was the first time he would spend the night, the first time we didn't have to leave the door open and the first time that there weren't any adults watching over us.

We had never talked about having sex, we hadn't even moved past him taking my shirt off and touching my chest. Tyler would have his shirt off too but he was used to it now that he was on the swimming team. Karen had taken me to the doctor and put me on The Pill, we hadn't told my father and I had never told Tyler. Part of me was worried that he might want to _just do it_ because I was on The Pill, but how could we _do it_ if we couldn't even talk about it?

In my musings he had already locked the door and was laying down on my bed, this was the first time he had seen the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling in action. "Come and lay down for a minute" he said quietly, his voice was raspyand slow. I made my way over to the bed and laid my head down next to his, watching his fave for any sign of the direction that this was headed. "I need to tell you something, and it's been buzzing in my head all day, I know that I'm a little drunk but that's a good thing. I don't know if I'd be able to say this if I was sober" he started.

He was hardly ever serious and it made me anxious to think about what he wanted to say. Whatever it was it was big enough tjat he didn't even look at me while he spoke. "What do you want to say?" I whispered. It was quiet for a minute and I wondered if he had fallen asleep before I heard him take a deep breath. "I love you Kim, I don't know if you know that or even if you feel the same but I have to say it. It drives me craxy but only because you drive me crazy, the kind of crazy that makes the guys call me 'whipped'. But I don't care, because it's for you" he rambled.

Some of his words were slurred and he smelt like beer but I kissed him anyway, I had always loved him and I thought that he had known that. How could he not realise how much better everything was when he was with me, or how much I missed him when he was gone? But he didn't know these things, he had been nervous that I didn't feel the way that he did-which was the silliest thing I had ever heard him say, "I love you too, Tyler" I smiled.

He threw his arm across my body and pulled me closer to him before his mouth found mine, his kiss was less controlled this time and I felt him turn to hover over me. "I was scared that you didn't" he confessed, I didn't get a chance to answer before his hands slipped under my shirt and rubbed circles into my skin. "I thought that you always knew" I breathed as he moved his mouth to my neck. Shivers travelled down my spine as he nipped and sucked his way to the collar of my shirt, only stopping long enough to pull it over my head and toss it aside.

Him touching me like this was always where we stopped, but I knew that tonight would be different when he took my leg and hooked it over his hip. We still had our jeans on but I was almost hoping that we didn't, feeling him rub himself up against me like that was exciting and exhilarating. Did this feel as good for him as it did for me? I had to believe that it had when he moaned against my neck, he was overwhelming but I couldn't even think of him stopping what he was doing.

"Can I...can I take this off?" he breathed heavily, his hands were on my zipper and I gave a quick nod before he clumsily pulled off both my jeans and my underwear. A finger entered me before I could ask if we were going to have sex and I gasped at the strange feeling. it was strange feeling him do that, just sliding in and out like that but he seemed to like it. He moaned my name into my ear but it was only when he curled it that it started to feel good. My hips moved on their own and that tingly feeling I had felt before was starting to move through my body.

The build up was intense and I was worried about the effect it would have, I had never felt it like this before and I didn't know what yo expect. Moans and his name just spilled from my lips without any thought and my legs had started to tremble, he moved faster and managed to kiss me silent when I got a little louder. The explosion was wonderful and scary and made me feel a little light headed, and I felt so much warmth when he rolled us over so that _I_ was laying on top of _him_.

"Tyler?" I called when my breathing had returned to normal, he gave a quiet "Hmm?" as his reply. "That was really great" I told him. His hand moved to my lower back as he drew unfamiliar patterns inyo my skin. "I didn't know if it would feel good for you, but I wanted it to" he smiled. After a few more minutes of laying together I put my pyjamas on as he unlocked the door, and we fell asleep together like we used to.

 ** _Mike's Party, The Next Evening_**

Almost all of kids in Forks and on the Res were in the house and dancing or drinking while the music droned on in the background. While Mike and Jessica played hosts, and Seth was with his friends Tyler and I had stayed up in my room. We occasionally went down to get some snacks or something to drink but we mostly stayed on my bed. When we had woken up Tyler had touched me like that again, but this time he was sober and the lights were on. Unlike last night the awkward first part hadn't happened and he made me feel good right away, and this time he spoke while he did it. He would talk about how good it felt for him, how much he loved me and how beautiful he thought I was. And there was no doubt in my mind that he meant it.


	10. 2010 (Part 1) -The Box

2010

 ** _Harry Clearwater's Place_**

"Come on kid, you have to want something. Mikey got that big party, you can have one too" Harry coaxed. But I refused to budge, I didn't want anything for my birthday. School wasn't fun but it was better than it cpuld hsve been, that didn't mean that I had a whole lot of friends though. What I wanted was a dinner with Tyler, Seth, my father and Harry...maybe even Chief Swan. The men in my life had definitely taken care of me and this would be a way to say thanks. I hadn't talked to Karen about it but I wasn't sure if she'd say yes, so until I knew for sure I would say that I didn't want anything.

"No can do Kams, you're going to get something good. At least from me...who knows what old time nonsense dad will give you" Seth laughed. He had a great relationship with Harry, he always teased his father about how old he was, but he had never felt comfortable with teasing our mother. Not that it mattered anymore anyway, after she was released she had never come back home. I was used to not having her around but Seth wasn't, it seemed like he was fine with her being gone.

"Who are you calling old? Women still find me very attractive, son. I've still got it" Harry grinned, and I couldn't help laughing as he posed to show off his 'muscles'. " Yeah Sethy, he's still got it" I joined in. Being around Harry was wonderful, he treated me the same way that he treated Seth and it made me feel like we were family too. And we were family now. Whenever Harry gave me an allowance I would hand the money over to Seth, it was going towards new fishing poles for Christmas. I knew that my father loved me but he had nevet had a relationship like this with me, Harry was definitely a father figure in my life. He was the first one I had told when I had gotten my period and he literally run down to the shop and talked to Joy Ateara for half an hour about what would be best for me.

Seth had laughed when he had found his father with different packets of tampons and sanitary pads in his arms but he helped figure out, honestly I was just as clueless as they were about what to get so I was glad that they hadn't come home with the tampons. That was only one of the ways that Harry was there for all the little things; he helped sew my buttons back in and always asked if I had a coat with me, he'd always remember that I hated onions and wouldn't put any in my food, and taught me how to walk in heels when Tyler and I had had our first real date in Port Angeles. Well he didn't really teach me how to walk in heels, he had linked his arm in mine while I practiced walking so that I wouldn't fall and "break my damn ankle" in those "torture traps".

"Exactly, listen to Kimmy son, she knows that I still have it" Harry winked, and he turned his head back to the television while Seth and I carried on our conversation on the love seat. "So, are you finally going to tell me how you got so tall? And don't say growth spurt" I asked. In the last few weeks he had sprouted up like a weed and he'd occasionally get a little cranky, I had chalked it up to puberty in the beginning. Especially when he started eating for four people. But could he grow from just over five feet to almost seven in such a short space of time? Did that even happen?

"No clue Kams, we're in the same boat here...but my body is good enough to steal those _imaginery_ women dad is always bragging about" he made sure to say it loud enough so that Harry could hear him. Harry's only response was to throw a piece of beef jerky at Seth's head, but Seth managed to catch it with his mouth. While I highly doubted that it was puberty that had turned him into _Super Seth_ there was a chance thst it was, Seth wasn't the only to suddenly grow taller and pack on the muscle. Jacob, Sam, Brady and even Paul were all starting to look bigger too, but Seth and Jacob seemed to be the only two that weren't as short tempered as the rest. Sam was so angry these days that his long time girlfriend Leah had left him, and Collin was avoiding Brady at all costs.

"Okay, while you steal the _women_ I'm going to head down to the beach, Tyler and I are going to hang out for a bit before he drives me back" I told them both. I kissed and hugged Seth before doing the same to Harry, and he once again made sure that I had taken something warm with me. The walk to First Beach was only a few minutes long and I worked hard to get there as quickly as possible, Tyler taking me along on his evening runs certainly helped me jog and cut the time in half.

I didn't have to look very hard for Tyler's faded blue second hand hatchback, it had doors that were a slightly lighter shade of blue than the rest of the car. But it was still his pride and joy and I loved that we had a warm and dry place to make out in when we wanted to be out of the house. He was in the back seat of the car with a large flask in his hands, knowing Tyler that would be his mother's hot chocolate.

"Come on in babe" he smiled, and he held the door open while I shimmied up to his side. There was already a blanket back here from the times that we had hung out before and a pair of my pumps that I thought I had lost. "How was Seth and Harry?" he asked, But he didn't seem very interested in my answer, he had already moved forward to put his lips on mine. Kissing Tyler was always amazing, he knew how use his tongue to make me moan and his hands were always pulling me close against his chest before they started clutch and grope at my hips and my butt.

"They're both good" I breathed, moving my mouth from his lips to his neck. The moment my lips touched his neck he moaned and pulled me into his lap so that his erection could rub into while I left hot marks on his skin. "That mouth of yours Kim..." he drifted off, and I loved that I could hear the smile in his voice. His hand slipped into my leggings and before I knew it we were both out of breath and laying against the back seat of his car. And right on cue Tyler wrapped the blanket around my body while he rolled the windows down, trying to de-fog the car after our escapade.

 ** _Newton_** **_House_**

After another 'last kiss' from Tyler on the front porch I had finally made my way into the house, all of the lights were off but the television was still on and somewhere upstairs someone was playing music. There was never really a curfew set in place but my father always made it known that he would wait up for me until I got home. "Kim, come here for a minute" he called from the living room.

It felt like I was in trouble, instead of almost sixteen I felt like I was five years old and my hand was in the cookie jar. "Yes dad?" I answered quietly. My father and I never spoke much, I knew that he cared and did what he could to protect me (he had already shown that when he moved me into Forks) but conversation was not his strong suite. Unlike the other times that he had waited up for me he had Karen at his side, and while I had assumed that Mike was upstairs he was there too. And on the table was an envelope and a large box.

"This came from your mother, it's a birthday gift, she wants you to have it" he told me. That was...I didn't even know that anyone had kept in contact with her. "You-you talked to her?" I asked him, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. If she had decided to make contact wht wouldn't she start with her children? "She has been trying to get better for you and your brother, Kimberly. She didn't want you to see her like that" he tried. My eyes went back to the box on the table, it was twice the size of a bread bin, what could she possibly have given me?

"But she let you see her like that, didn't she?" I wanted to know. He looked to Karen and then back to me, Karen seemed passive and not even interested in what was going on. "Yes she did, I took her to a rehabilitation centre. And she is doing well there" he informed. Rehab? She wouldn't even let us see if she _really_ was trying to get better? Not even send us letters or call to see if we were okay. "I don't want her gift" I whispered. I wouldn't let het swoop back in with a present aand act like it was okay, her prison sentence had ended months ago. _Months._ And she had still avoided us.

"Kimberly please, addiction is her struggle, and she is trying to get better for both you and Seth. Give her the chance to make things right" he pleaded. He made me so angry defending her like that, _she_ was the one who had hurt her family by disappearing _without a word_ , and even when she was here she had never protected any of us. "I don't even what she's 'addicted' to, all I know is that _she_ left _me_. And that was years ago. The second I was out of her house she stopped caring...or did I imagine that she never visited or _ignored my calls_ I asked him.

"Don't raise your voice at me. She is still your mother, so you _will_ take that gift upstairs and open it and you _will_ write her a letter thanking her for the gift" he suddenly said sternly. It was bewildering that he was fighting me so hard on this, he had never been this involved in anything other than the move here and the incident with Jacob. Why did it matter that she decided to start talking again when she hadn't been involved in my life in _years_. I hadn't talked to her in _years_ , long before there had been any sign of addiction. And I had come to terms with the fact that I was no longer important when I wasn't in her house.

"No. I. Won't. I don't want _this_ and I don't want to talk to _her_. She doesn't get to do this, not when she's the one that stopped acting like a mother. She never even tried to get me to understand this, no one did. I'm not going to entertain _whatever this is"_ Isaid through my teeth. And that seemed to be the wrong thing to say to him, I could see him get more and more angry and his fists clenched at his side. It was the first time I had ever seen a reaction like this from him and I was wary about what he might do.

"And _why_ do you think it is that no one tells you anything in this house? We are _your_ family Kimberly and you've never acted like it. Should Mike tell ypu, huh, when you keep throwing your relationship with Seth in his face? Or should it be Karen? She is the only woman in your life right now and you _still_ treat her like a stranger. Or should it be me? I'm your father, Kim, _your_ _fucking father_ and it's not like you give a shit. You give everyone a chance to be in your life but your family, and then you run out _there_ and play the damn _victim_!" he shouted.

"That's enough! Every time Sue makes her way back into our lives you lose your fucking mind! Kim isn't perfect, but Mike isn't either, and you seemed to understand that until _Sue_ needed your help _again_. Just last week you were talking about how hard she was trying to fit into this family and let people in and today it's a different story" Karen yelled, she had made her way across the room and pulled Mike and I to our feet. "Kids, go visit the Crowley's for a while. I'll come back and get you" she whispered hurriedly. And Mike did something he had never done before, he pulled me into his side and walked us out.

Mike and I had walked slowly to the Crowley house, but it was only once we were under a streetlight that I saw thst he was crying. We had never been close to one another, but we had both had...unpleasant evenings, and while I thought he might push me away when I hugged him he hadn't. He had stopped crying but he did hug me tightly and lay his head on my shoulder. "He's, like, still in love with her or something. He gets crazy when she's involved" he said quietly.

 ** _Crowley House_**

When Mike and I stood at the front door hand-in-hand I could see the surprise on Tyler's face, but he didn't ask what had happened. When Mr and Mrs Crowley started to open up the sofa bed and put out dinner, without even asking what was wrong, I had the idea that this wasn't the first time Mike had come here like this. It was just the first time someone had come here with him. "There's some more pizza in the fridge kids, and you can watch some TV try not to stay up too late. Remember Tyler, you and Kim are _not_ sharing a bed...but you can sleep down here on one of the other couches if you want" after Mrs Crowley had given some more basic rules she followed her husband upstairs with baby Emma in her arms.

That night was filled with silence, the only noise came from the television or the chewing sounds of pizza. Mike had decided to sleep on the couch and he had let me take the sofa bed, Tyler had brought his air mattress down from his room and set it up on the floor next to the sofa bed. Instead of talking Tyler held my hand and quietly hummed a song I had never heard of while I fell asleep, and last thing I thought was that I _had_ to find a way down to La Push to talk to Seth.


	11. 2010 (Part 2) - Legendary

2010

 ** _Crowley House_**

When I had woken ip the next morning Mike waa gone, Mrs Crowley told me that it wasn't unusual for him and that he was probably at the school and practicing for baseball. I had wanted to check up on him but she told me that he'd want to be alone today. She knew him better than I did, when Mr Crowley went passed the high school Mike was there and in the middle of batting practice. I, on the other hand, wanted to go down and see Seth so I could tell him what I had found out about our mother.

"I don't think that your dad meant what he said to the two of you last night" Mrs Crowley said over the leftover pizza she was handing out. My eyes left the food and found hers, I hadn't said anything about what had happened last night but maybe Mike had. "Karen, she's told me that when Mike pitches up here its because of a fight. Your father...he has a running mouth when he's upset but he is a good man" she smiled. I was not interested in trying to figure out whether or not he had meant what he said, my focus was informing Seth.

After breakfast and a quick shower, I was lucky that all of my previous visits to this house had left me with some of my clothes in Tyler's closet, and Tyler drove me down to the Reservation. He was quiet but he would reach over and squeeze my hand or my leg, and it was comforting to know that he was there for me. Even better that he knew that I didn't want to talk to him about it that very second.

 ** _La Push_**

Seth wasn't at Harry's when we went there but Old Mr Fox and told me to try Sam Uley's house, I hadn't even known that he was friends with Sam but Mr Fox said that he spent nearly every day with him. And not just Sam, but a group of others boys that I didn't know were his friends either. "Do you want me to go in there with ypu?" Tyler asked, he had been so quiet lately that his voice sounded a little hoarse. "Yes...please" I said, my voice was hoarse too.

We made our way to the house but the door swuswung open before we even knocked, and Seth stepped out looking like he was trying to play it cool. "What's going on?" he asked me, his eyes darting to around the forest tree line and coming back to me. "I could ask you the same thing...since when do you hang out with Sam?" I was confused, he always told me everything but he had never told me this. "It's new Kams, so what's up?" he sat down on the stairs up the porch and motioned for us to join him. "It's not new Seth, Old Man Fox says that you've been coming here for months. Yesterday I found out some secrets dad was keeping from me, please don't tell me that you're doing the same thing" I pleaded.

"Get inside the house" he said suddenly, almost cutting me off when I spoke. Before I could react he was pulling Tyler and I up by our arms and pushing us into the house. "Seth stop! What are you doing? I'm trying to talk to you" I said loudly. And at the end of the driveway I saw something I had never expected to ever see, Bella Swan had slapped Paul Lahote and he had turned into a creature I was sure couldn't exist. Before I blacked out I saw another creature push him back into the forest.

 ** _That Evening_**

I had run that last memory through my mind over and over again while I tried to convince myself to wake up. Paul, if that really was Paul, and turned into something big and furry. He had snarled and tried to bite at Bella before _another_ brown-looking creature had pudhed him into the forest. And _if_ Paul could turn into something then the others could turn into things too.

"Kimmy, baby, wake up please" I knew that whisper, that was Tyler's voice in my head. "She's already awake. She's _been_ awake for the last minute and a half" someone said roughly. That was a voice I didn't recognise. But I woke up, and I was relieved that my head was in Tyler's lap and his arms were keeping me safe. On the other side of the room I saw Seth, Sam, Brady, Paul, Jared and Embry. In the kitchen I could hear Bella and two other people, one was a woman and the other a man.

"Seth...I'm scared, I jus-please tell me what's going on" I begged quietly. I didn't know why he was standing on the other side of the room and not near me. "Don't be scared Kammy no one here is going to hurt you, I promise. I've always protected you, remember? I'm still a Protector, even now" he seemed like he was trying to reassure me but I was still afraid. How would he protect anyone from something like _that?_

"Emily, can you get Kim and Tyler something to drink?" Sam asked loudly, while I had been watching the others out of my eye I was hoping that I could find a way to safely get us out of this house. Emily Young came out of the kitchen with a tray full of cool drinks, I had seen her scarred face before but now I wondered if one of these creatures had hurt her, and if she was in this house of her own free will. Did she need saving too? "Hello Kimberly, Tyler, it's nice to officially meet you both" she grinned, but neither Tyler nor I could match her enthusiasm.

"We need to get you home" Tyler whispered discreetly, bending over to pick our drinks up from the tray. "I'm not leaving Seth here, I want him to come with us" I said back. Tyler nodded and squeezed my gand once again. "We're not keeping you two hostage here, we just need to explain some things before we let you go" Sam said, his small smile was unnerving. Bella made her way out of the kitchen witn Jacob at her side, I couldn't look at either of them. How could I tell who could _change_ and who couldn't, everyone looked _human to me._ "Why don't we just re-introduce everyone to you both? I'm Sam, you know Seth. That's Brady, Jared, Jacob-" I stopped listening after that. Had Jacob always looked that way? Had he always given me this feeling of electricity running through my body? I couldn't remember if he ever had, I was sure that I would have remembered but it felt like I had never looked at him before either. He was attractive, he had always been but something was different about him now. "Sam! Look" someone hissed, and I was brought out of my thoughts. "Shit, okay...let's just do the legends and figure this other shit out" he sighed.

I sat through almost half an hour of the legends I had heard as a child, and I understood it. Vampires were real, it was hard to wrap my head around but they were real, and everyone we had found in this house (except for Bella and Emily) were shifters. That part I believed, I had _seen_ Paul change, and apparently it was _Jacob_ that had taken him away. What I refused to even entertain was that _Jacob_ was made for me. Or that I was made for him. That just wasn't true, Tyler was who I loved and that was who was _my_ soul mate.

"No one is saying that you have to have a romantic relationship with Jacob now, but imprinting is never wrong. You two are _supposed_ to be together" Sam urged. I shook my head, that wasn't happening. "No. You just said that he could be a _friend_ or a _brother_ , so why do I have to have him as a boyfriend. I _love_ Tyler, not Jacob" I argued. I was glad that Tyler was arguing just as hard as I was and hadn't bought that everything we had was just supposed to be over. "It's supposed to be _her_ choice, right? She doesn't want him like that, and until she says that she does _no one_ is going to say that this bull shit is inevitable" he yelled.

"Jacob, just tell her how the imprint feels. Tell her how this will hurt you" Emily said to him. But Jacob seemed to be thinking long and hard, and until now he hadn't said anything. "It still feels the same. I know that she's my imprint and that I need to protect her but I don't love her right now. Not like Sam loves you" he said confused. That seemed to end the conversation quite quickly, everyone disbanded with the purpose of figuring out the strange imprint and with promises that this secret would remain secret.

 ** _First Beach_**

"I _knew_ that Jacob had something for you, he was always looking at you" Tyler vented. We had been on the beach for ten minutes and he had been like this since we had arrived. "Tyler, can we _please_ not talk about this right now. I just-are you okay with all of this? I'm not talking about this...whatever it is with Jacob, I'm talking about everything else" I needed to know, he had defended me but that didn't mean that he would stay with me now that he knew that I had a chance of turning too because of the gene on my mother's side of the family.

"It's weird, I'll give you that but...but they're like that for a reason, right? I don't know if I believe in vampires but they have fight against _something_ , and if they're real then other stuff can be real too. We can't really ignore that they changed right in front of us" he said excitedly. Of course he would be over the moon, he had always loved the sci-fi and supernatural movies and stories. "And you're not...weirded out that I might end up like that?" I asked. He laughed, "Kim you could be the Devil himself and it wouldn't change a damn thing, not unless you...not unless you choose Black"


	12. 2011 - The Decision

2011

 ** _Forks High_**

"We finally have some fresh meat at this school-no offence Swan. You don't count" Jessica smiled. All that we had heard all day was that there was a new family in town, a new and incredibly attractive family if anyone could believe Jessica. Lauren had already swung and missed when she had tried to ask out one of the older boys with the brown hair, and she had been playing damage control by _claiming_ that it had all been a stupid prank. No one bought that story.

"I'm still with Mike, Kim's with Tyler that leaves you Swan. Go make a move, see if you can get that blond over there to come sit with us at the diner later. He is _to die for_ " Jessica said with a swoon into my lap. "And that's probably how nice small town girls get killed. You don't know anything about him, you can't send Bella over there...he looks dangerous" I whispered. The blond boy in question smiled, and so did everyone else at the table, my time spent with the pack almost made me paranoid enough to think that they had heard me. "He's not going to kill anyone Kim he's just a bad boy" she sighed annoyed. "Famous last words Jess, famous last words" I muttered.

The bell for last period went off and we hurried off to our classes. While Bella went to Biology and Jess was in Spanish I made my way to history. The 'super' family split up after us, and it wasn't until I saw the blond in my history class that I wondered how fast he had had to run to beat me here. But I hurried to my seat in the back and searched for my cellphone, I hadn't seen Tyler all afternoon and I wondered if he had practice today. "Jasper Hale" he introduced as he sat beside me, not bothering to look up from his schedule. That chair was empty, but so were the other seats. "Kimberly...Newton" I said dazed.

Class was excruciatingly slow, I was used to blending in but thanks to Jasper there was always _someone_ looking back at our table. I knew that it was him that they were interested him but I still felt self-conscious. When Miss Pence finally let us out for the day I was ecstatic. Jessica ran through the doors before I had finished packing up and I listened to her drone on and on about how inconsiderate it was for her to find out about the blond from everyone but me.

 ** _The Diner_**

"You don't get it baby, she had a chance to bring in some new friends and she just let it pass" Jessica whined to Mike, instead of answering her he caught my eye and rolled his. After hanging out with the two of them for a year I had gotten used to Jessica's version of the truth, which was usually just filled with exaggerations. "Aren't you going to say anything Michael? Come on Tyler, aren't you supposed to make her more people friendly?" she wanted to know. "Why don't you get on Bella's case? She's the one that had the _special encounter_ with the redhead" Lauren laughed. Edward's bad reaction to Bella was all over school and Lauren just loved to bring it back up in conversation. Bella hadn't even stayed at school was word got around, she had hurried home.

"Lauren, that's Emmet McCarty, he's the one you pranked this morning isn't he?" Mike asked innocently. The super family (minus Edward) had walked into the diner and took up an entire booth next to us before starting up their own conversation. "Kimberly" Jasper greeted with a nod, and I nodded back. "What. Was. That?" Lauren asked with her mouth open. "I told you, Kim and the cowboy over there are _friends_. And none of you would believe me" she smirked, "You might have some competition there Tyler" she added. "No way, my girl loves me" he said sweetly, placing a kiss on my temple. "Don't start that lovey dovey shit here, we're eating Crowley" Eric yelled.

The Cullen's, as Jessica called them, had ordered up some milkshakes and spent their time talking one another. And every time of them did anything mildly entertaining Jessica would tell us all. "Are they really that interesting?" Tyler whispered in my ear. He had been rolling his eyes and laughing at Jessica's interest. "No they aren't, she's just focused on them because of the blond girl over there. Jessica is afraid that she'll steal her prom queen crown" I told him.

"Hello Kimberly and everyone else, I am Alice Cullen. We, obviously, don't know anyone in this town and we're trying to get started on the right foot" the pixie-like brunette smiled. She was stunning, they all were, but I was uncomfortable. Something was...off with these people. "It's great to meet you Alice! I'm Jessica Stanley, that's my boyfriend Mike Newton, his sister Kim, her boyfriend Tyler and our friends Eric and Lauren. It would be great to sit in the cafeteria together sometime" Jessica was loving this attention, her eyes were sparkling.

"Thank you for the invitation but my family and I always sit together, our father is big on bonding and all of that, you must understand" Alice said and Jessica's face fell, "But he would be okay with us studying together...could we join you all for that. We would owe you big time for helping us catch up in our classes" she grinned. And the whole table went off about who had the same classes and who would lend their notes to who. Eventually Alice went back to her table and ours went quiet. "Kim you have history with the cowboy over there and you never even offered to help" Jessica pouted. And Mike redirected the conversation by bringing up a beach party on the Res.

 ** _The Next Day, Forks High_**

The parking lot was empty when I got to school the next day, except for the athletes getting in some practice before school started. I walked up to Tyler's car and used the spare keys to let myself in, Mike usually dropped me off at school but he hadn't been up in time and I had decided to walk. As soon as I was warm and safe in the car I pulled out my cellphone to text Tyler that I was in his car and Mike that I had made it to school alright. I had thought about calling Seth until I realised that he was on patrol, but I would see him on the weekend at the beach party anyway.

A knock on the window ended my day dreaming and I was happy to see that Bella was back at school. "Come on out, we have to get to English" she said with a smile and I scrambled to get out so that we wouldn't be late for class.

"Are you okay?" I asked as soon as we sat down. She took a seat at the set of tables on my right and looked to me. "Yeah, that guy is obviously a jerk but I'm alright. I just can't believe he had the nerve to ask me if I smelled like this on purpose, I _know_ that I don't smell Kim" she said angrily. "Of course he's a jerk-" I cut myself off when Alice Cullen took a seat in front of us, she gave a small wave and faced the front of the class. "So is that his sister or his adoptive sister?" Bella whispered and I shrugged. "I don't know, and I'm not interested in finding out. This family just seems...but Jess is determined to befriend them so you should be aware" I warned.

The rest of the day went pretty quickly after that and I had made sure that I was late enough to History that I didn't have to sit next to Jasper, besides how weirded out I was by them I was also avoiding being next to him when people started staring again. He seemed to know that I was avoiding him, or he had some idea that something wasn't right, because he gave me a strange look. And while the look wasn't threatening I couldn't get over the fact that there was something about these people that just _screamed_ 'stay away'.

Tyler was at the door of the class when it ended and he gave a quick kiss before wrapping his arm around me, we had made plans for after school. Mike was off at Jessica's house and my father and Karen had gone away for the week to celebrate their wedding anniversary-we had the house to ourselves. "Are you ready to get going?" he asked nervously and I nodded, I was anxious but I was excited too.

 ** _Newton House_**

My heart raced as I led Tyler up the stairs, there was some stuff I had done to get ready for today. The first was a full body wax, it had hurt and I had cried but I wanted to look nice for him, the second thing I had done was change my sheets and made sure that the bed was cleared and need. And lastly I had turned the heat on, I knew that sex could bd sweaty but this was our first time and I didn't want to shiver through it.

We reached my bedroom and he set both of our bags down by the door, he looked just as nervous as I was. "Are you sure that you're ready for this?" he asked again, I had been answering this question all week but I was glad that he was still asking. It would give me a chance to change my mind if I needed to. "I'm ready Tyler, I want to do this. And I want to do it with you" I told him. He nodded and led us both towards the bed, carefully pulling off my clothes while he did.

He pulled me down onto the bed and laid me down beside him, the butterflies in my stomach when he kissed started and I had to remind myself that this was something we had done before. But unlike the other times he wasn't trying to hold himself back, his mouth went from my lips to my neck and his hands groped and palmed at my breasts. "I want to make you feel good" he whispered into my shoulder, and I felt his long fingers slip into my body. We had done this before too but I had never moved my hips like this before and I had never tried to pull him in this close.

I had to remind myself to breathe, and when he pulled his fingers out of me I felt myself groan. "Why?" I asked out of breath and he kissed me softly, "Just trust me, okay?" he said. His fingers started to thrust into me again and he pulled them out before I could reach my peak, when he tried to do it for the third time I kept his hand there. "Don't tease me baby, I can't take it anymore" I told him. That must have been the right thing to say because he was in before I got the chance to finish speaking.

He was bigger than I thought he was, it burned a little bit but he kept moving. It was uncomfortable but I knew that I could get through this. "Tell me if this hurts, I'll stop" he promised. I wanted to say that it was uncomfortable and not at all like I imagined it would be, but I didn't. His fingers found my little bundle of nerves and he rubbed firm circles into me, this created that tingly feeling that I had always felt before and the faster he rubbed the tighter my body started to feel. There was heat and pressure and my body was starting to shake in a way that it hadn't before.

"I-it's too much" I told him. I couldn't tell if I wanted him to stop or keep moving his body and his fingers. My legs tried to clamp down on him, just as confused as the rest of me was. "Trust me baby, I won't hurt you" he said between thrusts. And it was only a few minutes later when I felt a breathy moan and quiet gasps leave my lips, and Tyler grunted and slumped over my shoulder. I could feel the warm and gooey liquid in my body and heart slamming just as hard against his chest as mine did.

"Are you okay?" he wanted to know as he rolled off of me, and I gave a small smiled back. "Yes, I'm okay" I promised.

 ** _That Weekend, La Push_**

Things had been tense for the rest of week; I had felt embarrassed when Sam discreetly let me know that he could smell that I had had sex even after I had taken a shower and Seth was not very good at pretending that he couldn't tell, I was scared when Chief Black warned us all about what the Cullen's were and even with the promises that they were different Tyler and I made sure to check in with a wolf whenever we could, but the most stressful part was how even after the Cullen's knew that we knew what they were they _still_ insisted on being 'friends'. Jasper always made sure to sit next to me in History, even though he had never bothered to try to talk to me.


	13. 2012 - Leaps of Faith

2012

 ** _Newton House_**

"Stop being so stubborn, she's your friend too" he hissed. We had had this exact argument over and over for the last few months. _He_ would always defend her, and I didn't care if he did, but she had gone into this with her eyes open. "Is she? Did you forget that she _choose_ to be with the vampires? That _she_ walked away from _us?_ For goodness sake Jacob you were there, she loves him and she wants to be with him. Not us" I reminded him. "He left her Kim, she doesn't have anyone else. This is Bella we're talking about. You guys shared everything, you were best friends" he pleaded.

"Don't even try using the imprint pull. Are you forgetting how she never mentioned that her _boyfriend_ was a mind reader? Or that she let Jasper manipulate our feelings so that we'd _feel_ like sharing our 'secrets? No Jacob, she's just lucky that we had nothing to spill but the number of wolves, take her somewhere else" I ordered. Truthfully she didn't look very good but she was the one that had picked the dark side, even after I had begged and cried and pleaded with her to stay.

Bella was hardly even paying attention to our conversation, she stood on the porch with her arms wrapped around her while she whispered things I couldn't hear. Jacob tried one last sad look before I motioned for the both to leave, "You heard her Black, take the leech bitch back to her coffin" Jared grinned, lifting his feet from the floor and putting them on the couch. "Don't call her that. And get out of my house, you're supposed to be patrolling around the house not irritating me to death" I said to him.

"Seriously Kim? We're supposed to be friends, why do you always act like it's such a fucking burden having me around? You can get along with Paul but you're always trying to start up _some_ kind of shit with me" he moaned. My eyes rolled in my head before I even had a chance to process the rest of his complaint. "Paul and I are not friends, he just tries to be civil and I do the same. You, on the other hand, curse all the time even when I ask you not to, you act like you shouldn't face any consequences and everything is a freaking joke to you" I said through my teeth.

"So I've got to kiss your ass like Paul does and you'll treat me like I'm human too...unlikely" he snorted. He was always like this, picking and picking at me like I was a scab, always trying to push me. I didn't know what made him do it but he did it without fail. "What is your problem Jared? Did I do something to hurt you? Or offend you? Why do you do this to me? I really want to know because I am sick and tired of trying to understand you, and I'm over letting you ruin me when I try to put myself together. You either say what you want to say or you get the hell out" I yelled.

Instead of doing what I wanted, he laughed. "My problem _Kimberly_ is you. I get that I fucked up, okay, I get it. I hurt you, I'm sorry. But how the hell am I supposed to move on and be a better person or whatever if you keep throwing it in my face? Every time things start to get normal you _have_ to bring up the past and ruin it" he seethed. Really? _Really?_ I was the one making it difficult for him to move on, I had turned him into the bad guy? "Newsflash Jared, things aren't normal. And yes, you did fuck up, you fucked everything up for a long, _long_ time. That doesn't get erased because we're forced to be around one another" I said sarcastically.

"So what is it that you want me to do, huh? What is that will make Kimberly Elizabeth _Newton_ happy? Besides turning back the clock" he had probably meant to put more sting in his words but I had caught the way that his voice had broken when he said my last name. "I want you to leave, this week has been stressful enough Jared. I'm tired. Just...do whatever you have to, but not from inside this house" I even sounded dejected. I didn't even bother to see if he had left when I made my way back upstairs to my room.

 ** _Later that Evening_**

"Come on, you're getting up. Right now, you're not going to be this person" Mike said in my ear, while he wasn't as strong as the guys in the pack he was strong enough to pick me up and dump me on the floor. "Ow, Mike! That hurt!" I yelled as my body hit the floor, but he didn't seem too concerned or impressed with me right now. "I wouldn't have to _drop you on your ass_ if you would get out of bed. People break up all the time Kim, Jessica and I do it almost monthly. Tyler will come back, he loves you, Leah is just a fling" he tried to reassure me. But I couldn't believe him, I had fought an imprint for him, and he hadn't done that for me. He just jumped on the bandwagon and said 'sorry'.

 ** _A Week Later, First Beach_**

"I just...I don't understand Kimmy, why would you two just end it like that? You've loved each other your whole lives" Mrs Crowley mumbled, and that was all that she had been doing for the last twenty minutes. I loved her, truly I did, but I hated that she wanted an explanation I couldn't deliver. Even without 'the secret' I still didn't understand it. "I don't know what to tell you. It's just over" I interrupted, grabbing my shoes before I walked down the beach to where Tyler and Leah weren't kissing in the sunset.

"You're pissed at Bella because she did the same thing that you did" Jacob said as he sat down beside me, there was a cup of...something strong smelling in his cup and we both purposely faced the cliffs instead of the bonfire. "I don't need you to psychoanalyse me" I told him. But like always he didn't listen. "You both chose guys that left you, and you don't want to be mad at _Tyler_ or yourself so you chose her. She's the easiest target" he continued. He drank from his cup and placed it between the two of us before he looked at me. "I never betrayed anyone. We're not the same" I said quietly.

"You betrayed your imprint. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that I feel the way that I do about you without the imprint forcing it on me, but _we're_ supposed to be like _them_. And it was your choice to not be that. So yeah, you are the same. You just didn't hurt as many people" he said softly. I couldn't hold it in, my resolve had been crumbling since I had stepped on to the beach and Jacob's words fueled an already roaring fire. He was right, even the council had thought of it as a kind of rejected imprint and at the time no one had said anything because Jacob seemed okay. But I wasn't, and I had started to panic when I couldn't control my crying.

i felt his lips on my cheek before I felt his arm wrap around my shoulder, he was so warm and the contact felt so good. Hugs from Jacob had always been special, I didn't know if it was because of the imprint or because he had become more of a friend this year but they had always helped. "Come on, I'll take you back to the house, my dad won't be home anytime soon and someone will be there to carry him when he's done. Let's go" he coaxed, and I didn't even fight him when he carried me back to his home.

 ** _Black House_**

Jacob had been great the night before, he had managed to calm me down through my panic and made sure that I had eaten. We had been getting closer because of the imprint but we were still a long ways away from being each other's 'everything', it was just nice to be with someone who wasn't waiting for me to crack or tell them that everything was okay when it wasn't. Jacob, right now, was safe and an easy choice.

"Did you sleep okay?" he asked when I walked into the kitchen for breakfast, he was folding the blankets he had used when he slept on the couch. I gave a small nod and took a seat in front of the scrambled eggs and toast on the already set table. "Thank you...I really appreciate... " he cut me off by holding out his hand and whispering that it hadn't been a bother.

"You should know that we all think that Tyler and Leah won't last long. She's already showing signs that her imprint relationship is changing, he will be back. And you need to think about whether or not you want him back" he said matter-of-factly. Knowing that Tyler had _chosen_ that type of relationship with Leah was the only thing that was on my mind, the imprint made the choices about where the relationship would go and he had picked this result.

"I'm not holding my breath Jacob, I just want to focus on graduation and think about college. Tyler is-was a part of the plan but he isn't anymore, that was his decision. I can only control my own choices" I recited. This was what I had told myself when Tyler had told me that we were done over a week ago, and I had given myself the week to mourn my relationship before I focused on what was important. This was my plan to survive this and not drive myself crazy thinking about what had happened.

"So that's it? He makes this one mistake, and it _is_ a mistake Kim, and you can't move past it? I thought that you loved him" he sighed. My head snapped up in disbelief, Jacob had been telling Bella that anyone that had left her the way Edward did didn't deserve her time. But his story was different when it was me. "He didn't break a plate or back his car up into a tree _Jacob_ , he broke my heart. He _chose_ to break my heart" I said slowly, he must have forgotten that to speak to me the way that he was.

"Good, remember that, because you're right that was his choice. But he probably made that choice because he was afraid" he said sagely, and he kissed my head before he went out fot his patrol. Leaving me to my thoughts, and that was one thing I didn't want.

 ** _Graduation Day, After the Ceremony_**

"I can't believe it, you're both so grown up now. Soon you'll be getting married and bringing hone grandchildren" Karen cried. She sounded very drunk, she had been referring to Mike and I as her 'babies' all day, Karen and I were closer than before but we certainly weren't that close. "Karen, you're embarrassing the kids. They don't want to talk about grandchildren they want to go and get ready for Jessica's party tonight" my father told her. Mike was the one who was excited for the party, I was planning to go down to the beach and start my isolation from my newly graduated peers. The looks of pity I had received when everyone found out about the break up was excruciating, and everyone was interested in figuring out why things had ended so suddenly.

After handing over the caps and gowns and some quick photos Mike had driven me down to La Push. He was completely set on having this last night with Jessica before he left for college level football training in Austen Texas the next morning. The beach was empty and quiet, it was a little chilly but it was better than the weather we had had lately.

"Hey college girl, you made it" Jacob smiled. I had finally decided to jump off of the cliff and Jacob had offered to help, it was reassuring to know that he wouldn't let anything horrific happen to me. He was already dressed in his cut offs and I had changed into a pair of shorts and a baggy shirt. "I'm not a college girl yet, just a high school graduate" I reminded witb a smile. We dumped the towels and blankets on the beach before Jacob piggybacked me up the cliff, it was too dark to risk walking myself when he basically had night vision.

"Okay, we can do this three ways. The first is that I jump first and you jump after me, the second is that we jump at the same time holding hands and the third is that you climb onto me and we jump together. It's too dark to let you go in without me there and I need to keep you safe" he reminded. I grabbed his hand and prepared myself to run and jump off of the cliff.

The jump was frightening and exhilarating, I screamed the whole way down. When we hit the I let go of the breath I was holding, it was much colder than I had thought it was. Jacob quickly pulled me into his side and swam back faster than I ever could. The breeze when we hit the shore was vicious I had thought that Jacob was the tiniest bit dramatic when he had insisted on blankets but he was right. As soon as I was wrapped up in one he pulled me into his lap and let his body heat warm me up.

"So how was it?" he asked, his hands rubbing up and down against my arms. My throat still burned a little bit but that was my fault for swallowing so much saltwater. "I'll never do it again...but I'm glad that I did it this time" I said hoarsely. He laughed and pulled out a bottle of water from his bag to put in my hands. "Yeah the first jump isn't always the best" he agreed. We were quiet after that and I let my body relax into his.

"What are you going to do now? I know that you're corresponding at WSU but what are you going to do about everyone you've been avoiding?" he asked quietly. I no longer flinched at Jacob's difficult questions I almost expected them now, he made me talk about the things I wanted to bottle up. "I don't know. I got a job training as a bartender, so I'll up nights and asleep during the day. Maybe I'll just keep avoiding them" I shrugged. He took a deep, tired breath "Yeah, Jared told me about that. He works security at some of the bars and clubs just outside of Port Ang...you're going to see a lot of him" he warned.

"So _that's_ why he's been on my case so much lately. You can tell him that I won't ruin his rep or anything, we don't even have to act like we know each other. I don't care" I told him. "But _he_ does. Look he was wrong, and he knows now that he was wrong but he doesn't know how to fix it, he didn't even know how bad it was until he saw it in our heads. He hates that anyone even thinks of him like that, and he hates that you're okay with everyone but him. All of the extra protection you got while the Cullen's were still here, that was him trying to prove that he wasn't as bad as we all thought he was. You don't have to forgive him, but he'll be in your life for a long time, don't you want that time to be as drama free as possible?" he asked.

Jacob annoyed me with how right he was these days. _If_ Jared and I ended up working in the same building it would help to have...not a friend but someone I actually knew. At the very least wd could carpool and save fuel. "And now we need to talk about how things are with Bella and Tyler-" he started but I cut him off. "No. I'm not talking about that" I dismissed.


	14. 2013 - Out of the Box

2013

 ** _Black House_**

"Just like that...that feels amazing" I sighed contently. He always had such strong and sure hands and I loved the feel of them as they massaged my neck and shoulders. "Now I know why Billy keeps you around Jake" I laughed. "Hardy har har _Kimantha_ , you're hilarious" he said dryly. My face furrowed in disgust, I hated that nickname and he knew it. "If you don't want me to use that name then stop being a wise ass" he shrugged. From the other side of the couch Bella laughed loudly, her feet propped up on her unpacked luggage.

"Okay kids stop teasing each other" she giggled. I couldn't hear Jacob laugh but I could feel the quiet vibrations of his laughter as he did. "She started it. Ever since you got this bob haircut thing you've been acting up Kim...did you hear how she tried to sound sexy just there? And she's just rude, I think that we should punish her Bells-make _her_ guard the food tonight" he deadpanned. As nervous as I was for the bonfire tonight I was also relaxed, yes Tyler would be there but Jacob would be there too. And he was fully prepared to play bodyguard if things went south.

"Guard the food?! Are you trying to get me killed?! If you bottomless pits don't absolutely demolish me then Rachel will, her pregnancy makes her so _aggressive"_ I reminded him. It was a shock when Paul imprinted on Rachel, the fact that they had gotten married and were pregnant six months after they had met was no longer surprising. They were both assholes to everyone but each other, and they never argued with one another either. It was almost frightening.

"Leave Rachel to me, I could take her" Bella grinned. That was the second surprise of the year, not only had Jacob and Bella gotten together but they were pregnant now too. Unlike Paul and Rachel they didn't plan on getting married and Bella was still going to go back to Florida for school, she was going to leave Charlie and Sue Clearwater with the baby. They would probably make great grandparents and Jacob would be able to visit whenever he wanted to.

"Oh yeah, the pregnancy edition of Girls Gone Wild...not weird at all" Jacob muttered under his breath.As much as Jacob teased Bella about her new waddle or how her clothes never fit (she now wore the shirts that Jacob no longer wore) he absolutely adored her, it was obvious. He and I were still the only imprinted pair that were not together as a couple, if one could believe that Tyler and Leah had really broken up after their time together.

"He's going as her imprint tonight, not as her boyfriend. She's still angry with him, she thinks that he made her hurt you the same way that Emily hurt her" Bella reminded me. After we had fixed our friendship she had been with me every step of the way, encouraging me to at least date casually since I still didn't know what I wanted. I had the suspicion that she wanted me back with Tyler, which was a little hypocritical since she had refused to even talk to Edward when he had come back.

I had long stopped saying that I didn't care about him and that I didn't want him back, they were lies and everyone knew it, I just wanted things to be the way that they were before he had ever been her imprint and broken things off. "Kimberly, it's lovely to see you again. When did you get back?" Billy asked as he made his way through the front door. I stood up to hug and kiss him and Harry who was behind him. "Bella and I came from the airport together this morning, we thought we'd be nice and only make Jake make one trip to get us" I smiled cheekily. Seth was supposed to come get me but there had been a change in patrol schedules when a redheaded vampire had been spotted near the beach, Jacob was excited to share how they had caught and eliminated her in record time.

"He'll meet us all down at the beach anyway, come tell this old man how your first year of college is going" Harry said as he sank down on my former seat on the couch. I rolled my eyes, Harry and I spoke every second day on the phone he already knew as much about my life as Jacob and Bella combined. "What would you like to know pops?" I asked, he swelled with pride. It was an easy choice to involve Harry in my Father's day plans earlier in the year and he had insisted that I call him pops or papa ever since, he knew that I already had a dad.

"How about you tell me about that boy that answered the phone in your room three weeks ago. Richard, Ryan, Rick?" he asked. He had done that on purpose, I had already explained a hundred times that Ross and I were only friends. "Ross papa, and he and his _fiance_ say hello" I told him. He huffed a little bit and turned his head to the television, "Don't be like Billy and I baby girl, we could never move on from the people we loved and now we're lonely old men hoping for grandchildren. I know you still love that boy but don't let him hold your heart hostage like this, it isn't healthy" he said quietly, and just as quickly as the moment came it had left.

 ** _First Beach_**

Jacob had taken Bella and the dad's down to the beach almost an hour ago, I had stayed behind to take a shower and get dressed. Yes I wanted to look great for Tyler but...I still didn't know what I wanted to do. What would I do if he said he wanted me back? Or worse, if he said that he had moved on? I didn't know but I prepared myself for either situation. And once I was fully dressed, with a bathing suit underneath in case I wanted to go swimming, I quickly walked down to the beach and the already roaring fire.

"Damn Newton, you look hot with short hair" Jared yelled over the fire, we had developed a...not so friendly alliance during our summer working together. He still annoyed me but I was amicable, I also knew that he had probably only said that to piss someone off. "Shut up Cameron, just finish eating your hotdog" Seth said through his teeth, but he got up and gave me a tight hug. I had missed Seth, we spoke a few times a week in emails but it wasn't the same. "The idiot is right though, you do look nice" he whispered.

"Please tell me you were a normal college girl and came back with a tattoo" Rachel yelled over the fire, a blush coated my cheeks because I had gotten a small tattoo that I had only told Harry about. "Oh _shit_ , you _did_ get a tattoo" she giggled loudly, Paul threw a quick arm around her waist to steady her when she threw her head back laughing. "Tattoo Kim? A tattoo?! Where is it?" Seth asked, Jacob looked just as interested but he didn't say anything. "Relax, it's not anywhere indecent and no one will even see it unless I take my shoes off" I assured him.

"What did you get?" Bella asked interested. I didn't know if she would make the connection that I had gotten it based on the words she had said to me when I was at my lowest, "this pain will not last forever". "It's a broken infinity sign, in white ink on my left ankle" I said quietly. Her eyes lit up with recognition. "I like it already" she smiled. The mood around the fire changed instantly when Leah and Tyler arrived, she stomped a few feet ahead of him and he purposely dragged behind her. "Are you okay?" Jacob whispered and I nodded, I was anxious but I was ready to hear what he would say.

 ** _Newton House_**

I still couldn't believe how the evening had gone, and I couldn't tell if I was more shocked or more angry. I had thought that I had prepared myself for seeing Tyler again but clearly I was wrong, the frustration of the night manifested as tears in my eyes and I threw my covers off of my childhood bed. _I would not cry over Tyler Crowley again_. After changing into sweatpants and a warm jacket I threw my sneakers on and decided to walk around outside and calm myself down.

It was cold outside but luckily it was only drizzling and not raining, the streetlights were on and it helped everything seem more serene. I sat down on the sidewalk and let myself soak in the calm atmosphere, until I heard a quiet noise from somewhere down the street. I wasn't afraid, there was always a wolf watching in both Forks and La Push. It had to have been an animal, it sounded like one was injured and whimpering. Sam always said to be careful of the animals, there were some vampires that fed on animals but didn't kill the animal. No one knew what would happen to those animals if the venom was left to spread so they made it a point to put them all down, but he always warned that they might miss one or two.

Looking around I tried to see if there were any of the wolves out there but it was dark and they liked to hide, I resigned myself to heading back inside when I heard a voice mutter "Fuck" from somewhere behind me. "Who's out there?" I asked, my voice had a quiver in it but I ignored it. "Shit, shit, shit" the voice said again and then there was a loud crash and the sound of something breaking. I followed the noise around the house to the back where the bedroom windows were, and I saw Tyler trying to get up off the floor with a ladder propped up to my window.

"What are you doing?" I asked harshly, but I hadn't meant for it to sound that harsh. "Kim, wow you're really fast. I literally just knocked on your window" he smiled, his words were a little slurred. He was drunk. "What are you doing here Tyler?" I asked again. He lifted a slightly damp box from the ground and brushed off some dirt. "I was going to give you this...it's a late birthday gift. I made it for you" he said quietly. It was a large box, almost the size of my window, I didn't know how he thought that he would get it into my room. "You don't have to say anything, I just wanted you to have it, I've been working on it for a while" he shrugged.

He swayed as he handed the box to me and I had to reach out my arms to steady him, I wondered how far he'd made it up the ladder before he'd fallen. "Come on Tyler, it's time to get you home" I sighed, wrapping an arm around his waist to get him to walk. We were slow but we were getting there, I had left the box on my front step and walked down the street to tbe Crowley house. All of the lights were off. "They hate me you know, for ending things with you" he muttered, and motioned his head towards the house. "They don't hate you" I answered automatically.

At least I didn't think that they did, I spoke to Mrs Crowley maybe twice a month and she had never brought Tyler up in conversation. She would tell me about his sister and ask about Mike and end it there, she never even asked me about myself. But she had to love her son, he was always one of the most important things to her, "They ask about you all the time and I can never give an answer, I can't even _try_ to talk to you without feeling scared shitless. I couldn't even talk to you tonight, couldn't even look at you" he laughed. I knocked loudly on the door and then pushed it open slightly so that I could lay him on the couch, I didn't want to frighten them by just walking into their home.

"Who's down there?" Mr Crowley called from upstairs. I cleared my throat, "It's Kimberly Newton Mr Crowley, I'm just bringing Tyler back home" I answered. There was a rush of footsteps before both his parents csme down, Mr Crowley took Tyler from me and laid him on the couch while Mrs Crowley watched. "Did you two go out together?" she asked with an impassive face, I shook my head. "I found him outside my bedroom window" I answered. She nodded and covered him in a blanket I hadn't seen before. "I should get home, good night" I announced, and I waa near the front foor when Tyler called my name. "You don't have to say anything just, please just look at it" he pleaded, I left without an answer.

 ** _The next day, Black House_**

"What are we doing?" Jacob asked. Bella and I were seated on the couch, both of us staring at the unopened box Tyler had given me last night. "We're trying to figure out what this means" she answered. He took a seat on the floor between our legs and quickly sniffed the box, "It smells stale. Like it hasn't been opened in a while, and there's a kind of metal in there. Paper and photos too...and something cotton" he informed. "Jacob!" Bella hissed as she lightly hit his arm, "She's supposed to find all of that out by _herself_ " she informed.

"How the hell would she do it alone if you're _both_ figuring out what it means?" he asked confused, she rolled her eyes. "Tyler gave this to her last night after a few drinks, we want to know _why_ he gave it to her. We weren't thinking about what was _in_ the box" she explained. Honestly I wanted to know both, so I lifted the lid and looked at the disorganised mess inside the box. There were pictures we had taken together all through high school (some that I had never seen before), old notes and letters and a bright red envelope with my name on the front.

The envelope wasn't sealed and when I pulled it open a ring with a thin band and a small stone, the note with it explained that it was a promise ring. _A promise ring?_ What did this mean? Was this what we could have had? Bella pulled out the small teddy bear and squeezed it's stomach "Happy 18th birthday baby! I know that you didn't want anything for your birthday...but I never listen, we're going to different schools but we still have a future together. There's a ring in there, it's just a promise ring but I swear, one day I'm going to marry you. I love you Kim" Tyler's recorded voice said excitedly.

"He spent my birthday with Leah, he was already _with_ her" I said dumbly. They had imprinted almost two weeks before my birthday...so what did this box mean? "Maybe he was scared Kim, maybe he thought that you would say no" Bella whispered. I stuffed everything back into the box and dropped the box onto the floor. He had made the decision to make this, all that time ago, and instead of following through he had decided that I wasn't worth the risk.


	15. 2014 - Homecoming

2014

I was nervous about seeing Tyler again. Yes, we had agreed to be friends again but this would be the first time we were hanging out as friends. Or at the very least we were trying to. It helped that it would be at a barbecue my father was throwing and that their people would be around, there wouldn't be any pressure to stick together the whole day. This would also be the first time Mike brought Jessica around as his fiancé, I would have liked to say that I was surprised but I wasn't. They really loved each other.

"Kim, could you please come out here and help me use this-this...thingy?" Jessica called. I rolled my eyes, why she insisted on working the grill I didn't know, but I wouldn't be there to help her. I was just as clueless as she was and she knew it. "Just let the dad's do it Jess" I called back loudly. She sighed loudly and I heard her shoes clack across the living room, probably to find Mike and complain ir beg for his help before anyone figuredout that she didn't know what she was doing. She had been really on it about doing everything for this barbecue, like she was the hostess.

"Crowley's are here" Mike yelled. My palms were a little sweaty and I had to take a deep breath, these were people I had known my whole life. I needed to remember that. Mike promised to yell so that I would have time to 'look natural', I don't ask what that means. But I even out my breathing and try not to look like my stomach has been in knots since we agreed to be friends just over a month ago. It was eady enough to agree to it when the both of us were at school and only ever emailed each other.

I probably would have ignored Tyler for a long time if I hadn't gotten that drunken voice message three months ago, he sounded...it broke my heart to hear him like that but I couldn't bring myself to call him back. So I emailed instead, and he replied. It was awkward, he brought up the last night that I gad seen him, the night that he had handed me that box. I could hear him say that he didn't want to know what I thought about all of it, but he did. Tyler was never ever very patient, or rather he didn't like having to be patient. But I also didn't feel like I should answer him until he actually asked me what my thoughts were, I wasn't looking forward to the day we actually had that discussion, until then there was this barbecue.

"Kimberly, it's so lovely to see you again. I see that you've kept your hair short, it really does suit you. You're such a beautiful young lady" Mrs Crowley smiled. This were different with her too, after that last night she had always been so formal with me. I didn't know why, but I could only guess that she was embarrassed about it and didn't want us to talk about it either. "Kimmy honey, you look wonderful. I'll bet that your father can't keep the boys away from you" Mr Crowley joked. Unlike his wife he was still okay with me, and he didn't think that one bad night meant that Tyler had an alcohol addiction.

Tyler stood behind his father with his sister trailing behind him. He looked a little awkward, even though he had been here millions of times before. This time he was someone else's guest, he was here because my father had invited him and his family. "Mr and Mrs Crowley, why don't you come this way and put your coats in the living room...Tyler, your little sister can play with Angela's brothers in the back yard" Jessica said professionally. She was taking her hosting responsibilities seriously. "Kim...he called for you again" she added quietly. I gave a small nod and turned to Tyler, "Mike and some of the other guys are in the yard. I'm sure that everyone will be excited to see you" I said to him.

"Uh...yeah. Are you-I mean, you're hanging out with everyone else too aren't you?" he wanted to know. Even the conversation was awkward. "Yeah, I've just got to talk to Jessica first" I answered. He gave a small smile and turned to walk out into the yard, only looking back once before he ducked his head and hurried out to Mike and the group. As soon as he was out of sight I made my way to the kitchen where Jessica was busy pouring custard into various dessert bowls. "So? How was it?" she asked excitedly. I shrugged. "He's acting weird but it's weird to have him here. So it's going how I expected it to go" I said honestly.

"Then just go talk to him, if he acts any more weird, and I mean weird not creepy weird, then you just remind him that you guys have known each other for forever. If he's creepy then you should run and not come bacm" she shrugged. I looked at her for a long minute before I decided that she was kind of right, we should be able to sit in the same room. I walked out of the kitchen, intending to go into the yard and be casual with him. We could be friends. "Kim" a voice said as I left the kitchen, I was startled enough to trip and almost hit the floor. "Tyler, you scared me" I said clutching my chest. He looked apologetic as he reached for my hand and inconspicuously led me up the stairs. "What are you doing?" I hissed.

He only turned to look at me when we were in my bedroom and he had locked the door, his only answer to my question was to throw his arms around me and hold me close. And it felt good, I had missed being held like this, true I had had James during the year but it was nothing like Tyler. And James and I had agreed that what we had wasn't going to be a big deal. It wasn't even sex, yes we kissed and we...touched but that was something we'd do when we were around each other. And right now I was home, far away from him.

"I've missed you" he whispered, and I had missed him too. His grip on me loosened and he led me to my bed, part of me wondered if he thought that this would lead to sex. "I know that we agreed to be friends, and I'll be your friend Kim...but if you want to...try again. I'll try too. I'm not going to assume that you're single and that you still want me the way that you used to, I just want you to know this. There hasn't been anyone else Kim, I never slept with Leah and I haven't been with anyone since you. One girl kissed me but I ended it and I haven't spoken to her since, you just need to know that" he told me.

A part of me wished that he would give me this confession, but I had wished for it months ago when I couldn't even think about him without crying. I still had feelings for him, not all of them positive, but I didn't trust him and I wouldn't even attempt a relationship without trust. It would be stupid. "Tyler...I was with someone during the year. We...things between us aren't...we have this arrangement. And while we're together we're exclusive" I explained. He didn't need to know about what was going on with James but I would tell him anyway, I didn't want any confusion about what was going on.

"Are you...so what does that mean?" he wanted to know. I suppressed a sigh and thought about how I would phrase what was going on in my head. "I've never had sex with him, but I know that he wants that with me. I don't know if I could have sex with him anyway...it's a thing for me now. I'm telling you this because this is the only kind of relationship I'm willing to have right now. No sex, no commitment" I told him.

"Is that...you'd want that with me?"


	16. 2014 - Homecoming (Part 2)

His question swan around my head, did I want that with him? Would I give him that chance? He had already proven that he would run at the first sight of trouble, the second he was scared he had run off with Leah and left me in the dust. He couldn't be trusted with my heart. _I couldn't trust him._ And I still had my...relationship? with Jamie. He wasn't my boyfriend but he was still something to me, more than a friend. He had helped me through my feelings for Tyler, letting me ramble on until it was time to move on. And he had kept me from horrendous dating mistakes and focused on the reason that I had gone to college in the first place. My education.

Tyler didn't know what his cowardice had meant for me, all our plans for our future were dropped for his moment of indecision and he hadn't bothered to try to change things until his drunken mind had made him do something he hadn't planned on doing. Where would we be today if he had managed to stay sober? Or if he had passed out before he had made his way too me? He hadn't been strong enough to come to me when he was sober, should that count for something? Was it important? I looked at the broken boy before, his eyes swimming with his silent pleas and I couldn't convince myself that we could just jump into how things had been before. He had changed. And so had I.

"I don't want that with you, Tyler. I _can't_ have that with you. There is still so much I dont understand, so much that you still don't understand. Things are different. I understand you trying to fix things between us but we can't just start up some kind of relationship because you feel guilty about how things ended. It isn't fair to either of us" I reminded him. He was listening, for a brief moment, before his face changed amd anger set in. I knew that he had changed but if was upset at the fact that I wanted to limit this new relationship we had, then I didn't know if things would ever work between us. For any kind of relationship.

"Feeling guilty? You think that I'm lying to you? That I only want us to get back together because of my guilt? Fuck Kim I know that I fucked up before but I know that I've never once been with you because I felt guilty. Do I really look _that_ bad in your eyes?" he snapped. His face contorted with his angry words, his body shook like Seth's or Jacob's would have. He had picked up that habit while we were apart, that was something new. To me, at least. It just emphasised how different things were.

"Then what _do_ you want? What is it that I'm supposed to understand here? We can't have the kind of relationship we used to have Tyler, you have to know that" I snapped. He was frustrating me, I couldn't understand what it was that he wanted. And just settling for 'any part of me I was willing to give' wouldn't be enough. If he wanted something with me, truly wanted it, he would have to speak up and then prove that I could trust him again. That was the only thing that I was willing to accept.

"I want us. I know that things are different but I want us to be _us_ again. Leave that guy from college, have something real with me. Let me show you that I'm not going to run when I get scared again, because I won't. I love you, I've always loved you, even when I was stupid enough to chase Leah and end things between us.

Those were the words I had wanted to hear, I had prayed and wished that he would said them all those months ago when he had first left me for Leah. And now he had said them. And as much as I loved and wanted Tyler Crowley I was not willing to just drop everything and just become his girlfriend again, he was going to have to work hard to prove that he was good enough for _me_ now.


End file.
